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I
could
feel
rising
within
me
the
exasperation
of
sexual
desire
,
of
the
feel
of
encumbering
clothes
,
everything
that
stands
between
skin
and
skin
.
Finally
we
were
half
struggling
,
half
kissing
.
And
then
she
was
pushing
,
pulling
herself
away
,
on
her
feet
,
and
shrill
shock
,
the
whistle
sounded
.
I
sprang
up
and
caught
her
by
the
arms
.
"
Why
did
you
do
that
?
"
She
gave
me
a
racked
look
,
mixed
reproach
and
asking
for
forgiveness
.
"
You
make
me
wild
.
"
It
seemed
torn
out
of
her
,
a
kind
of
self
-
horror
.
Then
she
was
in
my
arms
again
,
being
gripped
frantically
to
me
and
wanting
to
be
gripped
,
a
brutally
fierce
kiss
.
But
we
both
heard
the
quick
pad
of
the
running
feet
.
She
twisted
round
and
free
.
Said
in
a
low
voice
to
him
,
"
Stop
there
.
"
He
rocked
on
his
feet
,
as
if
in
two
minds
,
then
stood
twenty
yards
away
.
I
whispered
,
"
I
love
you
.
I
’
m
mad
about
you
.
"
She
turned
back
to
me
;
her
hair
had
fallen
loose
and
she
looked
strange
,
struck
silent
,
her
eyes
so
intense
;
as
if
she
had
begun
to
suspect
me
all
over
again
.
I
took
her
face
in
my
hands
and
drew
her
a
little
towards
me
,
then
whispered
the
words
again
;
begging
her
to
believe
.
"
I
love
you
.
"
She
bowed
her
head
,
then
pulled
on
her
cardigan
,
saying
nothing
,
but
standing
so
close
that
it
said
everything
.
I
pulled
her
against
me
for
a
moment
,
and
then
she
answered
,
in
a
voice
so
low
I
hardly
heard
.
"
I
want
you
to
love
me
.
"
A
last
moment
;
then
she
ran
past
the
Negro
and
down
through
the
trees
towards
the
shingle
of
the
beach
.
For
an
instant
the
mothlike
whiteness
of
her
skirt
showed
;
was
swallowed
up
in
darkness
.
The
Negro
leaned
against
a
pine
.
He
was
without
his
mask
and
I
felt
more
relaxed
with
him
than
before
;
sure
that
I
was
the
tricker
this
time
,
he
the
tricked
.
"
Would
you
like
a
cigarette
?
"
No
answer
.
"
Just
to
show
there
are
no
hard
feelings
.
"
Suddenly
he
switched
a
torch
on
;
only
for
a
second
,
but
it
dazzled
me
;
and
it
was
plainly
to
silence
my
tongue
.
"
Thanks
.
"
For
two
or
three
minutes
we
stood
in
dense
darkness
and
silence
.
I
smoked
,
he
watched
.
Then
the
torch
went
on
again
,
but
this
time
it
pointed
at
a
place
in
front
of
my
feet
,
then
moved
towards
the
north
.
He
was
telling
me
to
go
home
.
"
I
am
dismissed
?
"
Again
the
torch
pointed
,
swept
sideways
.
I
began
to
walk
in
the
direction
that
would
bring
me
to
the
path
to
the
central
ridge
.
He
followed
me
,
some
thirty
or
forty
yards
behind
.
I
halted
and
turned
.
"
Is
this
really
necessary
?
"
But
the
torch
flicked
on
again
,
and
the
beam
pushed
me
away
.
I
shrugged
;
continued
.
She
loved
me
,
she
wanted
me
;
and
I
carried
the
certainty
of
it
inside
me
like
alcohol
.
When
we
got
to
the
path
,
and
I
turned
up
to
the
north
,
he
stopped
.
Some
forty
yards
later
I
looked
back
and
he
was
still
standing
there
.
I
went
on
without
stopping
for
two
hundred
yards
or
so
.
It
was
a
night
with
the
thinnest
of
new
moons
;
too
dark
to
encourage
a
roundabout
return
to
Bourani
.
I
waited
for
the
sound
of
a
boat
engine
.
And
this
time
,
in
a
few
minutes
,
it
came
from
the
direction
of
the
private
beach
;
then
headed
east
towards
Nauplia
.
As
I
climbed
the
long
path
through
the
trees
I
thought
of
Julie
;
of
her
body
,
her
mouth
,
a
feeling
that
in
another
few
minutes
she
would
have
given
way
…
and
my
mind
wandered
lubriciously
off
to
a
Julie
trained
by
familiarity
,
by
love
of
me
to
do
all
those
things
that
Alison
did
;
all
Alison
’
s
semi
-
professional
skill
with
Julie
’
s
elegance
,
taste
and
intelligence
.
I
was
torn
between
wanting
her
and
not
wanting
her
;
between
doing
things
at
my
tempo
and
doing
them
at
hers
;
happily
torn
.
Walking
on
I
began
to
think
over
the
old
center
to
the
whole
enigma
—
Conchis
,
and
his
purposes
.
If
you
have
a
private
menagerie
your
concern
is
to
keep
the
animals
in
,
not
to
dictate
exactly
what
they
do
inside
the
cage
.
He
constructed
bars
around
us
,
subtle
psychosexual
bars
that
kept
us
chained
to
Bourani
.
He
was
like
some
Elizabethan
nobleman
.
We
were
his
Earl
of
Leicester
’
s
troupe
,
his
very
private
company
;
but
he
might
well
have
incorporated
the
Heisenberg
principle
into
his
masque
,
so
that
much
of
it
was
indeterminate
,
both
to
him
as
observer
-
voyeur
and
to
us
as
observed
human
particles
.
One
thing
was
certain
:
to
use
us
so
he
must
despise
us
.
In
spite
of
Julie
’
s
theory
,
it
rankled
in
me
that
he
called
me
unimaginative
.
I
guessed
that
he
partly
wanted
to
taunt
us
with
a
false
contrast
between
an
all
-
wise
Europe
and
a
naïve
England
.
In
spite
of
all
his
gnomic
cant
he
was
like
so
many
other
Europeans
,
quite
unable
to
understand
the
emotional
depths
and
subtleties
of
the
English
attitude
to
life
.
He
thought
the
girls
and
I
were
green
,
innocents
;
but
we
could
outperifidy
his
perfidy
,
and
precisely
because
we
were
English
:
born
with
masks
and
bred
to
lie
.
I
came
towards
the
main
ridge
.
As
I
walked
I
overturned
a
loose
stone
here
and
there
,
but
otherwise
the
landscape
was
totally
silent
.
Far
below
,
over
the
crumpled
gray
velvet
of
the
outstretched
pinetops
,
the
sea
glistened
obscurely
under
the
spangled
sky
.
The
world
belonged
to
night
.
The
trees
thinned
out
where
the
ground
rose
steeply
to
-
the
small
bluff
that
marked
the
south
side
of
the
main
ridge
.
I
paused
a
moment
for
breath
and
turned
to
look
back
down
towards
Bourani
;
glanced
at
my
watch
.
It
was
just
after
midnight
.
The
whole
island
was
asleep
.
Somewhere
Lily
was
,
like
me
,
staring
at
the
silver
nailparing
of
a
moon
,
perhaps
feeling
that
same
sense
of
existential
solitude
,
the
being
and
being
alone
in
a
universe
,
that
still
nights
sometimes
give
.
Then
from
behind
me
,
from
somewhere
up
on
the
ridge
,
I
heard
a
sound
.
A
very
small
sound
,
but
enough
to
make
me
step
swiftly
off
the
path
into
the
cover
of
a
pine
.
Someone
or
something
up
there
had
overturned
a
stone
.
A
pause
of
fifteen
seconds
or
more
.
Then
I
froze
;
both
with
shock
and
as
a
precaution
.
A
man
was
standing
on
top
of
the
bluff
,
ashily
silhouetted
against
the
night
sky
.
Then
a
second
man
,
and
a
third
.
I
could
hear
the
faint
noise
of
their
feet
on
the
rock
,
the
muffled
clink
of
something
metallic
.
Then
,
like
magic
,
there
were
six
.
Six
gray
shadows
standing
along
the
skyline
.
One
of
them
raised
an
arm
and
pointed
;
but
I
heard
no
sound
of
voices
.
Islanders
?
But
they
hardly
ever
used
the
central
ridge
in
summer
;
and
never
at
that
time
of
night
.
In
any
case
I
suddenly
realized
what
they
were
.
They
were
soldiers
.
I
could
just
see
the
indistinct
outlines
of
guns
,
the
dull
sheen
of
a
helmet
.
There
had
been
Greek
army
maneuvers
on
the
mainland
a
month
before
,
and
a
coming
and
going
of
landing
craft
in
the
strait
.
These
men
must
be
on
some
similar
commando
-
type
exercise
.
But
I
didn
’
t
move
.
One
of
the
men
turned
back
,
and
the
others
followed
.
I
thought
I
knew
what
had
happened
.
They
had
come
along
the
central
ridge
and
overshot
the
transverse
path
that
led
down
to
Bourani
and
Moutsa
.
As
if
to
confirm
my
guess
there
was
a
distant
pop
,
like
a
flrework
.
I
saw
,
from
somewhere
west
of
Bourani
,
a
shimmering
Very
light
hanging
in
the
sky
.
It
was
one
of
the
starshell
variety
and
fell
in
a
slow
parabola
.
I
had
fired
dozens
myself
,
on
night
exercises
.
The
six
were
evidently
on
their
way
to
"
attack
"
some
point
on
the
other
side
of
Moutsa
.
For
all
that
,
I
looked
round
.
Twenty
yards
away
there
was
a
group
of
rocks
with
enough
small
shrubs
to
give
cover
.
I
ran
silently
under
the
trees
and
,
forgetting
my
clean
trousers
and
shirt
,
dropped
down
in
a
natural
trough
between
two
of
the
rocks
.
They
were
still
warm
from
the
sun
.
I
watched
the
,
cleft
in
the
skyline
down
which
the
path
lay
.
In
a
few
seconds
a
pale
movement
told
me
I
was
right
.
The
men
were
coming
down
.
They
were
probably
just
a
group
of
friendly
lads
from
the
Epirus
or
somewhere
.
But
I
pressed
myself
as
flat
as
I
could
.
When
I
could
hear
that
they
had
come
abreast
,
about
thirty
yards
away
,
I
sneaked
a
facedown
look
through
the
twigs
that
shielded
me
.
My
heart
jumped
.
They
were
in
German
uniforms
.
For
a
moment
I
thought
that
perhaps
they
were
dressed
up
to
be
the
"
enemy
"
on
the
maneuvers
;
but
it
was
unthinkable
,
after
the
atrocities
of
the
Occupation
,
that
any
Greek
soldier
would
put
on
German
uniform
,
even
for
an
exercise
;
and
from
then
on
I
knew
.
The
masque
had
moved
outside
the
domaine
.
The
last
man
was
carrying
a
much
bulkier
pack
than
the
others
;
a
pack
with
a
thin
,
just
visible
rod
rising
from
it
.
The
truth
flashed
in
on
me
.
Wireless
!
In
an
instant
I
knew
who
the
"
spy
"
really
was
at
the
school
.
He
was
a
very
Turkish
-
looking
Greek
,
a
compact
,
taciturn
man
with
a
close
-
cropped
head
,
one
of
the
science
masters
.
He
never
came
into
the
common
room
;
lived
in
his
laboratory
.
His
colleagues
nicknamed
him
o
aichemikos
,
the
alchemist
.
With
a
grim
realization
of
new
depths
of
treachery
,
I
remembered
that
he
was
one
of
Patares
.
cu
’
s
closest
cronies
.
But
what
I
had
remembered
first
was
that
there
was
a
transmitter
in
his
laboratory
,
since
some
of
the
boys
wanted
to
become
radio
officers
.
The
school
even
had
a
ham
radio
station
sign
.
I
hit
the
ground
with
my
fist
.
It
had
all
been
so
obvious
.
That
was
why
I
normally
never
heard
the
boat
leaving
Bourani
.
They
lay
low
until
the
message
was
radioed
back
that
I
was
safely
in
the
school
again
.
There
was
only
the
one
gate
in
;
the
old
gatekeeper
was
always
on
duty
.
The
men
had
gone
.
They
must
have
been
wearing
rubber
boots
;
and
they
must
have
wadded
their
equipment
well
to
make
so
little
noise
.
For
some
reason
they
had
been
waiting
there
to
catch
me
.
But
the
fact
that
I
had
waited
to
hear
the
boat
leave
,
and
then
not
walked
very
fast
,
must
have
made
them
think
I
had
gone
another
way
back
;
or
perhaps
that
I
was
still
hanging
about
Bourani
.
That
explained
the
flare
.
They
had
been
recalled
.
I
grinned
to
myself
.
Conchis
was
certainly
still
on
the
island
;
this
was
why
he
had
been
away
.
Julie
would
have
been
kept
innocent
;
he
could
not
have
risked
her
telling
me
,
though
he
might
have
hoped
I
would
suspect
her
of
leading
me
into
whatever
trap
Ithad
just
escaped
.
But
this
time
the
fox
was
through
the
net
.
I
was
even
half
tempted
to
follow
the
men
down
to
see
where
they
went
,
but
I
remembered
old
lessons
from
my
own
military
training
.
Never
patrol
on
a
windless
night
if
you
can
avoid
it
;
remember
the
man
nearer
the
moon
sees
you
better
than
you
see
him
.
Already
,
within
thirty
seconds
of
their
passing
,
I
could
hardly
hear
them
.
One
stone
was
loudly
kicked
,
then
silence
;
then
another
,
very
faintly
.
I
gave
them
another
thirty
seconds
,
then
I
pushed
myself
up
and
began
to
climb
the
path
as
fast
as
I
could
.
At
the
top
of
the
cleft
where
the
ridge
flattened
out
,
I
had
to
cross
fifty
yards
or
so
of
open
space
before
the
ground
dipped
down
to
the
northern
side
.
It
was
a
windswept
area
littered
with
stones
,
a
few
lone
bushes
.
On
the
far
side
lay
a
large
patch
,
an
acre
or
so
,
of
high
tamarisk
.
I
could
see
the
black
opening
in
the
feathery
branches
where
my
path
went
in
.
I
stood
and
listened
.
Silence
.
I
began
to
lope
across
the
open
space
.
I
had
got
about
halfway
across
when
I
heard
a
bang
.
A
second
later
a
Very
flare
burst
open
some
two
hundred
yards
to
the
right
.
It
flooded
the
ridge
with
light
.
I
dropped
,
my
face
averted
.
The
light
died
down
.
The
moment
it
hissed
into
darkness
I
was
on
my
feet
and
racing
,
careless
of
noise
,
for
the
tamarisks
.
I
got
into
them
safely
,
stopped
a
moment
,
trying
to
work
out
what
insane
new
trick
Conchis
was
playing
.
Then
I
heard
footsteps
running
along
the
ridge
,
from
the
direction
in
which
the
flare
had
come
.
I
began
to
sprint
down
the
path
between
the
seven
-
foot
bushes
.
I
came
to
a
flat
,
wider
curve
in
the
path
,
where
I
could
run
faster
.
Meteorically
,
without
any
warning
,
my
foot
was
caught
and
I
was
plunging
headlong
forward
.
A
searing
jab
as
my
flung
-
out
hand
hit
the
sharp
edge
of
a
stone
.
An
agonizing
bang
in
the
ribs
.
I
heard
my
breath
blasted
out
of
my
lungs
with
the
impact
and
my
shocked
voice
saying
"
Oh
Christ
.
"
I
was
too
dazed
for
a
moment
to
realize
what
had
happened
.
Then
came
a
sharp
low
command
from
behind
the
tamarisks
to
the
right
.
I
spoke
only
a
word
or
two
of
the
language
.
But
the
voice
sounded
authentically
German
.
There
were
sounds
all
around
me
,
on
both
sides
of
the
path
.
I
was
surrounded
by
men
dressed
as
German
soldiers
.
There
were
seven
of
them
.
"
What
the
bloody
hell
’
s
the
game
?
"
I
scrambled
onto
my
knees
,
rubbing
the
grit
off
the
palms
of
my
hands
.
I
could
feel
blood
on
one
.
Two
men
came
behind
me
and
seized
me
by
the
arms
,
jerked
me
up
.
Another
man
stood
in
the
center
of
the
path
.
He
was
apparently
in
charge
.
He
had
no
rifle
or
submachine
gun
,
like
the
others
,
but
only
a
revolver
.
I
looked
sideways
at
the
rifie
the
man
to
my
left
had
slung
over
his
shoulder
.
It
looked
real
;
not
a
stage
property
.
He
looked
really
German
;
not
Greek
.
The
man
with
the
revolver
,
evidently
some
kind
of
NCO
,
spoke
again
in
German
.
Two
men
bent
,
one
on
either
side
of
the
path
,
and
fiddled
by
tamarisk
stems
:
a
tripwire
.
The
man
with
the
revolver
blew
a
whistle
.
I
looked
at
the
two
men
beside
me
.
"
You
speak
English
?
Sprechen
Sie
Englisch
?
"
They
took
not
the
slightest
notice
,
except
to
jerk
my
arms
for
silence
.
I
thought
,
Christ
,
wait
till
I
see
Conchis
again
.
The
NCO
stood
in
the
path
with
his
back
to
me
,
and
the
other
four
men
gathered
beyond
him
.
Two
of
them
sat
down
.
One
evidently
asked
if
they
could
smoke
.
The
NCO
gave
permission
.
They
lit
up
,
helmeted
faces
in
matchflares
,
and
began
to
talk
in
a
low
murmur
of
voices
.
They
seemed
all
German
.
Not
just
Greeks
who
knew
a
few
words
of
German
;
but
Germans
.
I
spoke
to
the
sergeant
.
"
When
you
’
ve
finished
the
clowning
perhaps
you
’
ll
tell
me
what
we
’
re
waiting
for
.
"
The
man
pivoted
round
and
came
up
to
me
.
He
was
a
man
of
about
forty
-
five
,
long
checked
.
He
stood
with
his
face
about
two
feet
from
mine
.
He
did
not
look
particularly
brutal
but
he
looked
his
part
.
I
expected
another
spit
routine
,
but
he
simply
said
quietly
,
"
Was
sagen
Sie
?
"
"
Oh
go
to
hell
.
"
He
remained
staring
at
me
,
as
if
he
did
not
understand
,
but
was
interested
to
see
me
at
last
;
then
expressionlessly
turned
away
.
The
grip
of
the
soldiers
relaxed
a
little
.
If
I
had
felt
less
battered
,
I
might
have
run
for
it
.
But
then
I
heard
footsteps
from
the
ridge
above
.
A
few
seconds
later
the
six
men
I
had
first
seen
came
marching
down
the
path
in
a
loose
single
file
.
But
before
they
came
to
us
,
they
fell
out
by
the
group
of
smoking
men
.
The
boy
who
was
holding
me
on
the
right
was
only
about
twenty
.
He
began
siss
-
whistling
under
his
breath
;
and
in
what
had
been
,
in
spite
of
my
remark
about
clowning
,
a
pretty
convincing
performance
until
then
,
he
struck
a
rather
obvious
note
,
for
the
tune
was
the
most
famous
of
all
,
"
Lili
Marlene
.
"
Or
was
it
a
very
bad
pun
?
He
had
a
huge
acne
-
covered
jaw
and
small
eyelashless
eyes
;
specially
chosen
,
I
suppose
,
because
he
appeared
so
Teutonic
,
with
a
curious
machinelike
indifference
,
as
if
he
didn
’
t
know
why
he
was
there
,
who
I
was
;
and
didn
’
t
care
;
just
carried
out
orders
.
I
calculated
:
thirteen
men
,
at
least
half
of
whom
were
German
.
Cost
of
getting
them
to
Greece
,
from
Athens
to
the
island
.
Equipment
.
Training
-
rehearsing
.
Cost
of
getting
them
off
the
island
,
back
to
Germany
.
It
couldn
’
t
be
done
under
five
hundred
pounds
.
And
for
what
?
To
frighten
—
or
perhaps
to
impress
—
one
unimportant
person
.
At
the
same
time
,
now
that
the
first
panic
had
subsided
,
my
attitude
changed
.
This
scene
was
so
well
organized
,
so
elaborate
.
I
fell
under
the
spell
of
Conchis
the
magician
again
.
Frightened
,
but
fascinated
;
not
really
wanting
it
not
to
have
happened
as
it
did
;
and
then
there
were
more
footsteps
.
Two
more
men
appeared
.
One
was
short
and
slim
.
He
came
striding
down
the
path
with
a
taller
man
behind
him
.
