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I
felt
curiously
at
a
loose
end
.
At
first
it
was
very
pleasant
to
be
a
free
man
,
able
to
go
where
I
wanted
without
fearing
anything
.
I
had
only
been
a
month
under
the
ban
of
the
law
,
and
it
was
quite
enough
for
me
.
I
went
to
the
Savoy
and
ordered
very
carefully
a
very
good
luncheon
,
and
then
smoked
the
best
cigar
the
house
could
provide
.
But
I
was
still
feeling
nervous
.
When
I
saw
anybody
look
at
me
in
the
lounge
,
I
grew
shy
,
and
wondered
if
they
were
thinking
about
the
murder
.
After
that
I
took
a
taxi
and
drove
miles
away
up
into
North
London
.
I
walked
back
through
fields
and
lines
of
villas
and
terraces
and
then
slums
and
mean
streets
,
and
it
took
me
pretty
nearly
two
hours
.
All
the
while
my
restlessness
was
growing
worse
.
I
felt
that
great
things
,
tremendous
things
,
were
happening
or
about
to
happen
,
and
I
,
who
was
the
cog-wheel
of
the
whole
business
,
was
out
of
it
.
Royer
would
be
landing
at
Dover
,
Sir
Walter
would
be
making
plans
with
the
few
people
in
England
who
were
in
the
secret
,
and
somewhere
in
the
darkness
the
Black
Stone
would
be
working
.
I
felt
the
sense
of
danger
and
impending
calamity
,
and
I
had
the
curious
feeling
,
too
,
that
I
alone
could
avert
it
,
alone
could
grapple
with
it
.
But
I
was
out
of
the
game
now
.
How
could
it
be
otherwise
?
It
was
not
likely
that
Cabinet
Ministers
and
Admiralty
Lords
and
Generals
would
admit
me
to
their
councils
.
I
actually
began
to
wish
that
I
could
run
up
against
one
of
my
three
enemies
.
That
would
lead
to
developments
.
I
felt
that
I
wanted
enormously
to
have
a
vulgar
scrap
with
those
gentry
,
where
I
could
hit
out
and
flatten
something
.
I
was
rapidly
getting
into
a
very
bad
temper
.
I
did
n't
feel
like
going
back
to
my
flat
.
That
had
to
be
faced
some
time
,
but
as
I
still
had
sufficient
money
I
thought
I
would
put
it
off
till
next
morning
,
and
go
to
a
hotel
for
the
night
.
My
irritation
lasted
through
dinner
,
which
I
had
at
a
restaurant
in
Jermyn
Street
.
I
was
no
longer
hungry
,
and
let
several
courses
pass
untasted
.
I
drank
the
best
part
of
a
bottle
of
Burgundy
,
but
it
did
nothing
to
cheer
me
.
An
abominable
restlessness
had
taken
possession
of
me
.
Here
was
I
,
a
very
ordinary
fellow
,
with
no
particular
brains
,
and
yet
I
was
convinced
that
somehow
I
was
needed
to
help
this
business
through
--
that
without
me
it
would
all
go
to
blazes
.
I
told
myself
it
was
sheer
silly
conceit
,
that
four
or
five
of
the
cleverest
people
living
,
with
all
the
might
of
the
British
Empire
at
their
back
,
had
the
job
in
hand
.
Yet
I
could
n't
be
convinced
.
It
seemed
as
if
a
voice
kept
speaking
in
my
ear
,
telling
me
to
be
up
and
doing
,
or
I
would
never
sleep
again
.
The
upshot
was
that
about
half-past
nine
I
made
up
my
mind
to
go
to
Queen
Anne
's
Gate
.
Very
likely
I
would
not
be
admitted
,
but
it
would
ease
my
conscience
to
try
.
I
walked
down
Jermyn
Street
,
and
at
the
corner
of
Duke
Street
passed
a
group
of
young
men
.
They
were
in
evening
dress
,
had
been
dining
somewhere
,
and
were
going
on
to
a
music-hall
.
One
of
them
was
Mr
Marmaduke
Jopley
.
He
saw
me
and
stopped
short
.
