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- Джеймс Джойс
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- Портрет художника в юности
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- Стр. 240/241
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I
fear
him
.
I
fear
his
red-rimmed
horny
eyes
.
It
is
with
him
I
must
struggle
all
through
this
night
till
day
come
,
till
he
or
I
lie
dead
,
gripping
him
by
the
sinewy
throat
till
.
Till
what
?
Till
he
yield
to
me
?
No
.
I
mean
no
harm
.
APRIL
15
.
Met
her
today
point
blank
in
Grafton
Street
.
The
crowd
brought
us
together
.
We
both
stopped
.
She
asked
me
why
I
never
came
,
said
she
had
heard
all
sorts
of
stories
about
me
.
This
was
only
to
gain
time
.
Asked
me
was
I
writing
poems
?
About
whom
?
I
asked
her
.
This
confused
her
more
and
I
felt
sorry
and
mean
.
Turned
off
that
valve
at
once
and
opened
the
spiritual-heroic
refrigerating
apparatus
,
invented
and
patented
in
all
countries
by
Dante
Alighieri
.
Talked
rapidly
of
myself
and
my
plans
.
In
the
midst
of
it
unluckily
I
made
a
sudden
gesture
of
a
revolutionary
nature
I
must
have
looked
like
a
fellow
throwing
a
handful
of
peas
into
the
air
.
People
began
to
look
at
us
.
She
shook
hands
a
moment
after
and
,
in
going
away
,
said
she
hoped
I
would
do
what
I
said
.
Now
I
call
that
friendly
,
do
n't
you
?
Yes
,
I
liked
her
today
.
A
little
or
much
?
Do
n't
know
.
I
liked
her
and
it
seems
a
new
feeling
to
me
.
Then
,
in
that
case
,
all
the
rest
,
all
that
I
thought
I
thought
and
all
that
I
felt
I
felt
,
all
the
rest
before
now
,
in
fact
.
O
,
give
it
up
,
old
chap
!
Sleep
it
off
!
APRIL
16
.
Away
!
Away
!
The
spell
of
arms
and
voices
:
the
white
arms
of
roads
,
their
promise
of
close
embraces
and
the
black
arms
of
tall
ships
that
stand
against
the
moon
,
their
tale
of
distant
nations
.
They
are
held
out
to
say
:
We
are
alone
--
come
.
And
the
voices
say
with
them
:
We
are
your
kinsmen
.
And
the
air
is
thick
with
their
company
as
they
call
to
me
,
their
kinsman
,
making
ready
to
go
,
shaking
the
wings
of
their
exultant
and
terrible
youth
.
APRIL
26
.
Mother
is
putting
my
new
secondhand
clothes
in
order
.
She
prays
now
,
she
says
,
that
I
may
learn
in
my
own
life
and
away
from
home
and
friends
what
the
heart
is
and
what
it
feels
.
Amen
.
So
be
it
.
Welcome
,
O
life
,
I
go
to
encounter
for
the
millionth
time
the
reality
of
experience
and
to
forge
in
the
smithy
of
my
soul
the
uncreated
conscience
of
my
race
.
APRIL
27
.
Old
father
,
old
artificer
,
stand
me
now
and
ever
in
good
stead
.
