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Unwell
?
Sits
at
the
fire
perhaps
with
mamma
's
shawl
on
her
shoulders
.
But
not
peevish
.
A
nice
bowl
of
gruel
?
Wo
n't
you
now
?
MARCH
24
.
Began
with
a
discussion
with
my
mother
.
Subject
:
B.V.M.
Handicapped
by
my
sex
and
youth
.
To
escape
held
up
relations
between
Jesus
and
Papa
against
those-between
Mary
and
her
son
.
Said
religion
was
not
a
lying-in
hospital
.
Mother
indulgent
.
Said
I
have
a
queer
mind
and
have
read
too
much
.
Not
true
.
Have
read
little
and
understood
less
.
Then
she
said
I
would
come
back
to
faith
because
I
had
a
restless
mind
.
This
means
to
leave
church
by
back
door
of
sin
and
re-enter
through
the
skylight
of
repentance
.
Can
not
repent
.
Told
her
so
and
asked
for
sixpence
.
Got
threepence
.
Then
went
to
college
.
Other
wrangle
with
little
round
head
rogue
's
eye
Ghezzi
.
This
time
about
Bruno
the
Nolan
.
Began
in
Italian
and
ended
in
pidgin
English
.
He
said
Bruno
was
a
terrible
heretic
.
I
said
he
was
terribly
burned
.
He
agreed
to
this
with
some
sorrow
.
Then
gave
me
recipe
for
what
he
calls
RISOTTO
ALLA
BERGAMASCA
.
When
he
pronounces
a
soft
O
he
protrudes
his
full
carnal
lips
as
if
he
kissed
the
vowel
.
Has
he
?
And
could
he
repent
?
Yes
,
he
could
:
and
cry
two
round
rogue
's
tears
,
one
from
each
eye
.
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Crossing
Stephen
's
,
that
is
,
my
green
,
remembered
that
his
countrymen
and
not
mine
had
invented
what
Cranly
the
other
night
called
our
religion
.
A
quartet
of
them
,
soldiers
of
the
ninety-seventh
infantry
regiment
,
sat
at
the
foot
of
the
cross
and
tossed
up
dice
for
the
overcoat
of
the
crucified
.
Went
to
library
.
Tried
to
read
three
reviews
.
Useless
.
She
is
not
out
yet
.
Am
I
alarmed
?
About
what
?
That
she
will
never
be
out
again
.
Blake
wrote
:
I
wonder
if
William
Bond
will
die
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For
assuredly
he
is
very
ill
.
Alas
,
poor
William
!
I
was
once
at
a
diorama
in
Rotunda
.
At
the
end
were
pictures
of
big
nobs
.
Among
them
William
Ewart
Gladstone
,
just
then
dead
.
Orchestra
played
O
WILLIE
,
WE
HAVE
MISSED
YOU
.