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I
began
to
tremble
.
The
old
stomach
sickness
clutched
me
.
I
put
one
hand
on
the
edge
of
the
house
to
steady
myself
.
My
lips
seemed
suddenly
dry
and
I
moistened
them
against
the
need
of
speech
.
Nor
did
I
for
an
instant
take
my
eyes
off
him
.
Neither
of
us
spoke
.
There
was
something
ominous
in
his
silence
,
his
immobility
.
All
my
old
fear
of
him
returned
and
by
new
fear
was
increased
an
hundred-fold
.
And
still
we
stood
,
the
pair
of
us
,
staring
at
each
other
.
I
was
aware
of
the
demand
for
action
,
and
,
my
old
helplessness
strong
upon
me
,
I
was
waiting
for
him
to
take
the
initiative
.
Then
,
as
the
moments
went
by
,
it
came
to
me
that
the
situation
was
analogous
to
the
one
in
which
I
had
approached
the
long-maned
bull
,
my
intention
of
clubbing
obscured
by
fear
until
it
became
a
desire
to
make
him
run
.
So
it
was
at
last
impressed
upon
me
that
I
was
there
,
not
to
have
Wolf
Larsen
take
the
initiative
,
but
to
take
it
myself
.
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I
cocked
both
barrels
and
levelled
the
shot-gun
at
him
.
Had
he
moved
,
attempted
to
drop
down
the
companion-way
,
I
know
I
would
have
shot
him
.
But
he
stood
motionless
and
staring
as
before
.
And
as
I
faced
him
,
with
levelled
gun
shaking
in
my
hands
,
I
had
time
to
note
the
worn
and
haggard
appearance
of
his
face
.
It
was
as
if
some
strong
anxiety
had
wasted
it
.
The
cheeks
were
sunken
,
and
there
was
a
wearied
,
puckered
expression
on
the
brow
.
And
it
seemed
to
me
that
his
eyes
were
strange
,
not
only
the
expression
,
but
the
physical
seeming
,
as
though
the
optic
nerves
and
supporting
muscles
had
suffered
strain
and
slightly
twisted
the
eyeballs
.
All
this
I
saw
,
and
my
brain
now
working
rapidly
,
I
thought
a
thousand
thoughts
;
and
yet
I
could
not
pull
the
triggers
.
I
lowered
the
gun
and
stepped
to
the
corner
of
the
cabin
,
primarily
to
relieve
the
tension
on
my
nerves
and
to
make
a
new
start
,
and
incidentally
to
be
closer
.
Again
I
raised
the
gun
.
He
was
almost
at
arm
's
length
.
There
was
no
hope
for
him
.
I
was
resolved
.
There
was
no
possible
chance
of
missing
him
,
no
matter
how
poor
my
marksmanship
.
And
yet
I
wrestled
with
myself
and
could
not
pull
the
triggers
.
"
Well
?
"
he
demanded
impatiently
.
I
strove
vainly
to
force
my
fingers
down
on
the
triggers
,
and
vainly
I
strove
to
say
something
.
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"
Why
do
n't
you
shoot
?
"
he
asked
.
I
cleared
my
throat
of
a
huskiness
which
prevented
speech
.
"
Hump
,
"
he
said
slowly
,
"
you
ca
n't
do
it
.
You
are
not
exactly
afraid
.
You
are
impotent
.
Your
conventional
morality
is
stronger
than
you
.
You
are
the
slave
to
the
opinions
which
have
credence
among
the
people
you
have
known
and
have
read
about
.
Their
code
has
been
drummed
into
your
head
from
the
time
you
lisped
,
and
in
spite
of
your
philosophy
,
and
of
what
I
have
taught
you
,
it
wo
n't
let
you
kill
an
unarmed
,
unresisting
man
.
"
"
I
know
it
,
"
I
said
hoarsely
.