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"
You
do
n't
need
to
.
Just
put
that
fish
in
your
ear
.
"
Ford
,
with
a
lightning
movement
,
clapped
his
hand
to
Arthur
's
ear
,
and
he
had
the
sudden
sickening
sensation
of
the
fish
slithering
deep
into
his
aural
tract
.
Gasping
with
horror
he
scrabbled
at
his
ear
for
a
second
or
so
,
but
then
slowly
turned
goggle-eyed
with
wonder
.
He
was
experiencing
the
aural
equivalent
of
looking
at
a
picture
of
two
black
silhouetted
faces
and
suddenly
seeing
it
as
a
picture
of
a
white
candlestick
Or
of
looking
at
a
lot
of
coloured
dots
on
a
piece
of
paper
which
suddenly
resolve
themselves
into
the
figure
six
and
mean
that
your
optician
is
going
to
charge
you
a
lot
of
money
for
a
new
pair
of
glasses
.
He
was
still
listening
to
the
howling
gargles
,
he
knew
that
,
only
now
it
had
taken
on
the
semblance
of
perfectly
straightforward
English
.
This
is
what
he
heard
...
"
Howl
howl
gargle
howl
gargle
howl
howl
howl
gargle
howl
gargle
howl
howl
gargle
gargle
howl
gargle
gargle
gargle
howl
slurrp
uuuurgh
should
have
a
good
time
.
Message
repeats
.
This
is
your
captain
speaking
,
so
stop
whatever
you
're
doing
and
pay
attention
.
First
of
all
I
see
from
our
instruments
that
we
have
a
couple
of
hitchhikers
aboard
.
Hello
wherever
you
are
.
I
just
want
to
make
it
totally
clear
that
you
are
not
at
all
welcome
.
I
worked
hard
to
get
where
I
am
today
,
and
I
did
n't
become
captain
of
a
Vogon
constructor
ship
simply
so
I
could
turn
it
into
a
taxi
service
for
a
load
of
degenerate
freeloaders
.
I
have
sent
out
a
search
party
,
and
as
soon
that
they
find
you
I
will
put
you
off
the
ship
.
If
you
're
very
lucky
I
might
read
you
some
of
my
poetry
first
.
"
"
Secondly
,
we
are
about
to
jump
into
hyperspace
for
the
journey
to
Barnard
's
Star
.
On
arrival
we
will
stay
in
dock
for
a
seventy-two
hour
refit
,
and
no
one
's
to
leave
the
ship
during
that
time
.
I
repeat
,
all
planet
leave
is
cancelled
.
I
've
just
had
an
unhappy
love
affair
,
so
I
do
n't
see
why
anybody
else
should
have
a
good
time
.
Message
ends
.
"
The
noise
stopped
.
Arthur
discovered
to
his
embarrassment
that
he
was
lying
curled
up
in
a
small
ball
on
the
floor
with
his
arms
wrapped
round
his
head
.
He
smiled
weakly
.
"
Charming
man
,
"
he
said
.
"
I
wish
I
had
a
daughter
so
I
could
forbid
her
to
marry
one
...
"
