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- Дэвид Герберт Лоуренс
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- Любовник леди Чаттерлей
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- Стр. 100/388
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Connie
went
away
completely
bewildered
.
She
was
not
sure
whether
she
had
been
insulted
and
mortally
offended
,
or
not
.
Perhaps
the
man
really
only
meant
what
he
said
;
that
he
thought
she
would
expect
him
to
keep
away
.
As
if
she
would
dream
of
it
!
And
as
if
he
could
possibly
be
so
important
,
he
and
his
stupid
presence
.
She
went
home
in
confusion
,
not
knowing
what
she
thought
or
felt
.
Connie
was
surprised
at
her
own
feeling
of
aversion
from
Clifford
.
What
is
more
,
she
felt
she
had
always
really
disliked
him
.
Not
hate
:
there
was
no
passion
in
it
.
But
a
profound
physical
dislike
.
Almost
,
it
seemed
to
her
,
she
had
married
him
because
she
disliked
him
,
in
a
secret
,
physical
sort
of
way
.
But
of
course
,
she
had
married
him
really
because
in
a
mental
way
he
attracted
her
and
excited
her
.
He
had
seemed
,
in
some
way
,
her
master
,
beyond
her
.
Now
the
mental
excitement
had
worn
itself
out
and
collapsed
,
and
she
was
aware
only
of
the
physical
aversion
.
It
rose
up
in
her
from
her
depths
:
and
she
realized
how
it
had
been
eating
her
life
away
.
She
felt
weak
and
utterly
forlorn
.
She
wished
some
help
would
come
from
outside
.
But
in
the
whole
world
there
was
no
help
.
Society
was
terrible
because
it
was
insane
.
Civilized
society
is
insane
.
Money
and
so
-
called
love
are
its
two
great
manias
;
money
a
long
way
first
.
The
individual
asserts
himself
in
his
disconnected
insanity
in
these
two
modes
:
money
and
love
.
Look
at
Michaelis
!
His
life
and
activity
were
just
insanity
.
His
love
was
a
sort
of
insanity
.
And
Clifford
the
same
.
All
that
talk
!
All
that
writing
!
All
that
wild
struggling
to
push
himself
forwards
!
It
was
just
insanity
.
And
it
was
getting
worse
,
really
maniacal
.
Connie
felt
washed
-
out
with
fear
.
But
at
least
,
Clifford
was
shifting
his
grip
from
her
on
to
Mrs
Bolton
.
He
did
not
know
it
.
Like
many
insane
people
,
his
insanity
might
be
measured
by
the
things
he
was
not
aware
of
the
great
desert
tracts
in
his
consciousness
.
Mrs
Bolton
was
admirable
in
many
ways
.
But
she
had
that
queer
sort
of
bossiness
,
endless
assertion
of
her
own
will
,
which
is
one
of
the
signs
of
insanity
in
modern
woman
.
She
thought
she
was
utterly
subservient
and
living
for
others
.
Clifford
fascinated
her
because
he
always
,
or
so
often
,
frustrated
her
will
,
as
if
by
a
finer
instinct
.
He
had
a
finer
,
subtler
will
of
self
-
assertion
than
herself
.
This
was
his
charm
for
her
.
Perhaps
that
had
been
his
charm
,
too
,
for
Connie
.
