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591
He
looked
confused
for
a
moment
and
then
laughed
.
"
Of
course
,
Charlie
.
But
I
wasn
t
referring
to
now
.
I
meant
before
the
operation
.
"
592
Smug
,
pompous
I
felt
like
hitting
him
too
.
"
I
was
a
person
before
the
operation
.
In
case
you
forgot
"
593
"
Yes
,
of
course
,
Charlie
.
Don
t
misunderstand
.
But
it
was
different
.
.
.
"
And
then
he
remembered
that
he
had
to
check
some
charts
in
the
lab
.
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594
Dr
.
Strauss
doesn
t
talk
much
during
our
psychother
­
apy
sessions
,
but
today
when
I
brought
it
up
,
he
said
that
I
was
morally
obligated
to
tell
Mr
.
Donner
.
595
But
the
more
I
thought
about
it
the
less
simple
it
became
.
I
had
to
have
someone
else
to
break
the
tie
,
and
the
only
one
I
could
drink
of
was
Alice
.
Finally
,
at
ten
thirty
I
couldn
t
hold
out
any
longer
.
I
dialed
three
times
,
broke
off
in
the
middle
each
time
,
but
on
the
fourth
try
,
I
managed
to
hold
on
until
her
voice
.
596
At
first
she
didn
t
think
she
should
see
me
,
but
I
begged
her
to
meet
me
at
the
cafeteria
where
we
had
din
­
ner
together
.
"
I
respect
you
you
ve
always
given
me
good
advice
.
"
And
when
she
still
wavered
,
I
insisted
.
"
You
have
to
help
me
.
You
re
partly
responsible
.
You
said
so
yourself
.
If
not
for
you
I
would
never
have
gone
into
this
in
the
first
place
.
You
just
can
t
shrug
me
off
now
.
"
597
She
must
have
sensed
the
urgency
because
she
agreed
to
meet
me
.
I
hung
up
and
stared
at
the
phone
.
Why
was
it
so
important
for
me
to
know
what
she
thought
,
how
she
felt
?
For
more
than
a
year
at
the
Adult
Center
the
only
thing
that
mattered
was
pleasing
her
.
Was
that
why
I
had
agreed
to
the
operation
in
the
first
place
?
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598
I
paced
up
and
back
in
front
of
the
cafeteria
until
the
policeman
began
to
eye
me
suspiciously
.
Then
I
went
in
and
bought
coffee
.
Fortunately
,
the
table
we
had
used
last
time
was
empty
.
She
would
think
of
looking
for
me
back
there
.
599
She
saw
me
and
waved
to
me
,
but
stopped
at
the
counter
for
coffee
before
she
came
over
to
the
table
.
She
smiled
and
I
knew
it
was
because
I
had
chosen
the
same
table
.
A
foolish
,
romantic
gesture
.
600
"
I
know
it
s
late
,
"
I
apologized
,
"
but
I
swear
I
was
going
out
of
my
mind
.
I
had
to
talk
to
you
.
"