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Sometimes
I
listen
in
on
the
conversations
at
the
tables
around
me
,
and
pretend
I
’
m
a
college
student
,
even
though
I
’
m
a
lot
older
than
they
are
.
I
carry
books
around
,
and
I
’
ve
started
to
smoke
a
pipe
.
It
’
s
silly
,
but
since
I
belong
at
the
lab
I
feel
as
if
I
’
m
a
part
of
the
university
.
I
hate
to
go
home
to
that
lonely
room
.
April
27
I
’
ve
made
friends
with
some
of
the
boys
at
the
Campus
Bowl
.
They
were
arguing
about
whether
or
not
Shakespeare
really
wrote
Shakespeare
’
s
plays
.
One
of
the
boys
—
the
fat
one
with
the
sweaty
face
—
said
that
Mar
lowe
wrote
all
of
Shakespeare
’
s
plays
.
But
Lenny
,
the
short
kid
with
the
dark
glasses
,
didn
’
t
believe
that
business
about
Marlowe
,
and
he
said
that
everyone
knew
that
Sir
Francis
Bacon
wrote
the
plays
because
Shakespeare
had
never
been
to
college
and
never
had
the
education
that
shows
up
in
those
plays
.
That
’
s
when
the
one
with
the
freshman
beanie
said
he
had
heard
a
couple
of
guys
in
the
men
’
s
room
talk
ing
about
how
Shakespeare
’
s
plays
were
really
written
by
a
lady
.
And
they
talked
about
politics
and
art
and
God
.
I
never
before
heard
anyone
say
that
there
might
not
be
a
God
.
That
frightened
me
,
because
for
the
first
time
I
began
to
think
about
what
God
means
.
Now
I
understand
one
of
the
important
reasons
for
going
to
college
and
getting
an
education
is
to
learn
that
the
things
you
’
ve
believed
in
all
your
life
aren
’
t
true
,
and
that
nothing
is
what
it
appears
to
be
.
All
the
time
they
talked
and
argued
,
I
felt
the
excite
ment
bubble
up
inside
me
.
This
was
what
I
wanted
to
do
—
go
to
college
and
hear
people
talk
about
important
things
.
I
spend
most
of
my
free
time
at
the
library
now
,
read
ing
and
soaking
up
what
I
can
from
books
.
I
’
m
not
con
centrating
on
anything
in
particular
,
just
reading
a
lot
of
fiction
now
—
Dostoevski
,
Flaubert
,
Dickens
,
Hemingway
,
Faulkner
—
everything
I
can
get
my
hands
on
—
feeding
a
hunger
that
can
’
t
be
satisfied
.
April
28
In
a
dream
last
night
I
heard
Mom
screaming
at
Dad
and
the
teacher
at
the
elementary
school
P
.
S
.
13
(
my
first
school
before
they
transferred
me
to
P
.
S
.
222
)
.
.
.
.
