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"
What
eludes
me
is
the
reason
for
his
regression
—
is
it
a
special
case
?
An
isolated
reaction
?
Or
is
there
some
gen
eral
principle
of
failure
basic
to
the
whole
procedure
?
I
’
ve
got
to
work
out
the
rule
.
If
I
can
find
that
out
,
and
if
it
adds
even
one
jot
of
information
to
whatever
else
has
been
discovered
about
mental
retardation
and
the
possibility
of
helping
others
like
myself
,
I
will
be
satisfied
.
Whatever
happens
to
me
,
I
will
have
lived
a
thousand
normal
lives
by
what
I
might
add
to
others
not
yet
born
.
That
’
s
enough
.
July
31
I
’
m
on
the
edge
of
it
.
I
sense
it
.
They
all
think
I
’
m
killing
myself
at
this
pace
,
but
what
they
don
’
t
understand
is
that
I
’
m
living
at
a
peak
of
clarity
and
beauty
I
never
knew
existed
.
Every
part
of
me
is
attuned
to
the
work
.
I
soak
it
up
into
my
pores
during
the
day
,
and
at
night
—
in
the
moments
before
I
pass
off
into
sleep
—
ideas
explode
into
my
head
like
fireworks
.
There
is
no
greater
joy
than
the
burst
of
solution
to
a
problem
.
Incredible
that
anything
could
happen
to
take
away
this
bubbling
energy
,
the
zest
that
fills
everything
I
do
.
It
’
s
as
if
all
the
knowledge
I
’
ve
soaked
in
during
the
past
months
has
coalesced
and
lifted
me
to
a
peak
of
light
and
understanding
.
This
is
beauty
,
love
,
and
truth
all
rolled
into
one
.
This
is
joy
.
And
now
that
I
’
ve
found
it
,
how
can
I
give
it
up
?
Life
and
work
are
the
most
wonderful
things
a
man
can
have
.
I
am
in
love
with
what
I
am
doing
,
be
cause
the
answer
to
this
problem
is
right
here
in
my
mind
,
and
soon
—
very
soon
—
it
will
burst
into
consciousness
.
Let
me
solve
this
one
problem
.
I
pray
God
it
is
the
answer
I
want
,
but
if
not
I
will
accept
any
answer
at
all
and
try
to
be
grateful
for
what
I
had
.
Fay
’
s
new
boy
friend
is
a
dance
instructor
from
the
Stardust
Ballroom
.
I
can
’
t
really
blame
her
since
I
have
so
little
time
to
be
with
her
.
August
11
Blind
alley
for
the
past
two
days
.
Nothing
.
I
’
ve
taken
a
wrong
turn
somewhere
,
because
I
get
answers
to
a
lot
of
questions
,
but
not
to
the
most
important
ques
tion
of
all
:
How
does
Algernon
’
s
regression
affect
the
basic
hypothesis
of
the
experiment
?
Fortunately
,
I
know
enough
about
the
processes
of
the
mind
not
to
let
this
block
worry
me
too
much
.
Instead
of
panicking
and
giving
up
(
or
what
’
s
even
worse
,
pushing
hard
for
answers
that
won
’
t
come
)
I
’
ve
got
to
take
my
mind
off
the
problem
for
a
while
and
let
it
stew
.
I
’
ve
gone
as
far
as
I
can
on
a
conscious
level
,
and
now
it
’
s
up
to
those
mys
terious
operations
below
the
level
of
awareness
.
