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351
It
is
true
,
when
I
got
on
shore
first
here
,
and
found
all
my
ship
's
crew
drowned
,
and
myself
spared
,
I
was
surprised
with
a
kind
of
ecstasy
,
and
some
transports
of
soul
,
which
,
had
the
grace
of
God
assisted
,
might
have
come
up
to
true
thankfulness
;
but
it
ended
where
it
begun
,
in
a
mere
common
flight
of
joy
,
or
,
as
I
may
say
,
being
glad
I
was
alive
,
without
the
least
reflection
upon
the
distinguishing
goodness
of
the
Hand
which
had
preserved
me
,
and
had
singled
me
out
to
be
preserved
,
when
all
the
rest
were
destroyed
;
or
an
inquiry
why
Providence
had
been
thus
merciful
to
me
;
even
just
the
same
common
sort
of
joy
which
seamen
generally
have
after
they
are
got
safe
ashore
from
a
shipwreck
,
which
they
drown
all
in
the
next
bowl
of
punch
,
and
forget
almost
as
soon
as
it
is
over
,
and
all
the
rest
of
my
life
was
like
it
.
352
Even
when
I
was
afterwards
,
on
due
consideration
,
made
sensible
of
my
condition
,
how
I
was
cast
on
this
dreadful
place
,
out
of
the
reach
of
human
kind
,
out
of
all
hope
of
relief
,
or
prospect
of
redemption
,
as
soon
as
I
saw
but
a
prospect
of
living
,
and
that
I
should
not
starve
and
perish
for
hunger
,
all
the
sense
of
my
affliction
wore
off
,
and
I
began
to
be
very
easy
,
applied
myself
to
the
works
proper
for
my
preservation
and
supply
,
and
was
far
enough
from
being
afflicted
at
my
condition
,
as
a
judgment
from
heaven
,
or
as
the
hand
of
God
against
me
;
these
were
thoughts
which
very
seldom
entered
my
head
.
353
The
growing
up
of
the
corn
,
as
is
hinted
in
my
journal
,
had
at
first
some
little
influence
upon
me
,
and
began
to
affect
me
with
seriousness
,
as
long
as
I
thought
it
had
something
miraculous
in
it
;
but
as
soon
as
ever
that
part
of
the
thought
was
removed
,
all
the
impression
which
was
raised
from
it
wore
off
also
,
as
I
have
noted
already
.
Отключить рекламу
354
Even
the
earthquake
,
though
nothing
could
be
more
terrible
in
its
nature
,
or
more
immediately
directing
to
the
invisible
Power
,
which
alone
directs
such
things
,
yet
no
sooner
was
the
first
fright
over
,
but
the
impression
it
had
made
went
off
also
.
I
had
no
more
sense
of
God
or
His
judgments
,
much
less
of
the
present
affliction
of
my
circumstances
being
from
His
Hand
,
than
if
had
been
in
the
most
prosperous
condition
of
life
.
355
But
now
,
when
I
began
to
be
sick
,
and
a
leisurely
view
of
the
miseries
of
death
came
to
place
itself
before
me
;
when
my
spirits
began
to
sink
under
the
burden
of
a
strong
distemper
,
and
Nature
was
exhausted
with
the
violence
of
the
fever
;
conscience
,
that
had
slept
so
long
,
began
to
awake
,
and
I
began
to
reproach
myself
with
my
past
life
,
in
which
I
had
so
evidently
,
by
uncommon
wickedness
,
provoked
the
justice
of
God
to
lay
me
under
uncommon
strokes
,
and
to
deal
with
me
in
so
vindictive
a
manner
.
356
These
reflections
oppressed
me
for
the
second
or
third
day
of
my
distemper
;
and
in
the
violence
,
as
well
of
the
fever
as
of
the
dreadful
reproaches
of
my
conscience
,
extorted
some
words
from
me
,
like
praying
to
God
,
though
I
can
not
say
they
were
either
a
prayer
attended
with
desires
or
with
hopes
;
it
was
rather
the
voice
of
mere
fright
and
distress
.
My
thoughts
were
confused
,
the
convictions
great
upon
my
mind
,
and
the
horror
of
dying
in
such
a
miserable
condition
,
raised
vapors
into
my
head
with
the
mere
apprehensions
;
and
in
these
hurries
of
my
soul
,
I
know
not
what
my
tongue
might
express
;
but
it
was
rather
exclamation
,
such
as
,
"
Lord
!
what
a
miserable
creature
am
I
!
If
I
should
be
sick
,
I
shall
certainly
die
for
want
of
help
;
and
what
will
become
of
me
?
"
Then
the
tears
burst
out
of
my
eyes
,
and
I
could
say
no
more
for
a
good
while
.
357
In
this
interval
,
the
good
advice
of
my
father
came
to
my
mind
,
and
presently
his
prediction
,
which
I
mentioned
at
the
beginning
of
this
story
,
viz.
,
that
if
I
did
take
this
foolish
step
,
God
would
not
bless
me
,
and
I
would
have
leisure
hereafter
to
reflect
upon
having
neglected
his
counsel
,
when
there
might
be
none
to
assist
in
my
recovery
.
"
Now
,
"
said
I
aloud
,
"
my
dear
father
's
words
are
come
to
pass
;
God
's
justice
has
overtaken
me
,
and
I
have
none
to
help
or
hear
me
.
I
rejected
the
voice
of
Providence
,
which
had
mercifully
put
me
in
a
posture
or
station
of
life
wherein
I
might
have
been
happy
and
easy
;
but
I
would
neither
see
it
myself
nor
learn
to
know
the
blessing
of
it
from
my
parents
.
I
left
them
to
mourn
over
my
folly
,
and
now
I
am
left
to
mourn
under
the
consequences
of
it
.
I
refused
their
help
and
assistance
,
who
would
have
lifted
me
into
the
world
,
and
would
have
made
everything
easy
to
me
;
and
now
I
have
difficulties
to
struggle
with
,
too
great
for
even
Nature
itself
to
support
,
and
no
assistance
,
no
help
,
no
comfort
,
no
advice
.
"
Then
I
cried
out
,
"
Lord
,
be
my
help
,
for
I
am
in
great
distress
.
"
Отключить рекламу
358
This
was
the
first
prayer
,
if
I
may
call
it
so
,
that
I
had
made
for
many
years
.
But
I
return
to
my
journal
.
359
June
28
.
--
Having
been
somewhat
refreshed
with
the
sleep
I
had
had
,
and
the
fit
being
entirely
off
,
I
got
up
;
and
though
the
fright
and
terror
of
my
--
dream
was
very
great
,
yet
I
considered
that
the
fit
of
the
ague
would
return
again
the
next
day
,
and
now
was
my
time
to
get
something
to
refresh
and
support
myself
when
I
should
be
ill
.
And
the
first
thing
I
did
I
filled
a
large
square
case-bottle
with
water
,
and
set
it
upon
my
table
in
reach
of
my
bed
;
and
to
take
off
the
chill
or
aguish
disposition
of
the
water
,
I
put
about
a
quarter
of
a
pint
of
rum
into
it
,
and
mixed
them
together
.
Then
I
got
me
a
piece
of
the
goat
's
flesh
,
and
broiled
it
on
the
coals
,
but
could
eat
very
little
.
I
walked
about
,
but
was
very
weak
,
and
withal
very
sad
and
heavy-hearted
in
the
sense
of
my
miserable
condition
,
dreading
the
return
of
my
distemper
the
next
day
.
At
night
I
made
my
supper
of
three
of
the
turtle
's
eggs
,
which
I
roasted
in
the
ashes
,
and
eat
,
as
we
call
it
,
in
the
shell
;
and
this
was
the
first
bit
of
meat
I
had
ever
asked
God
's
blessing
to
,
even
as
I
could
remember
,
in
my
whole
life
.
360
After
I
had
eaten
,
I
tried
to
walk
,
but
found
myself
so
weak
that
I
could
hardly
carry
the
gun
(
(
for
I
never
went
out
without
that
)
)
;
so
I
went
but
a
little
way
,
and
sat
down
upon
the
ground
,
looking
out
upon
the
sea
,
which
was
just
before
me
,
and
very
calm
and
smooth
.
As
I
sat
here
,
some
such
thoughts
as
these
occurred
to
me
.