Лавка древностей/The Antiquities Shop (Чарльз Диккенс). Страница 12 из 459

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Yet

I

lingered

about

,

and

could

not

tear

myself

away

,

thinking

of

all

possible

harm

that

might

happen

to

the

child

—

of

fires

and

robberies

and

even

murder

—

and

feeling

as

if

some

evil

must

ensue

if

I

turned

my

back

upon

the

place

.

The

closing

of

a

door

or

window

in

the

street

brought

me

before

the

curiosity

-

dealer

’

s

once

more

;

I

crossed

the

road

and

looked

up

at

the

house

to

assure

myself

that

the

noise

had

not

come

from

there

.

No

,

it

was

black

,

cold

,

and

lifeless

as

before

.

There

were

few

passengers

astir

;

the

street

was

sad

and

dismal

,

and

pretty

well

my

own

.

A

few

stragglers

from

the

theatres

hurried

by

,

and

now

and

then

I

turned

aside

to

avoid

some

noisy

drunkard

as

he

reeled

homewards

,

but

these

interruptions

were

not

frequent

and

soon

ceased

.

The

clocks

struck

one

.

Still

I

paced

up

and

down

,

promising

myself

that

every

time

should

be

the

last

,

and

breaking

faith

with

myself

on

some

new

plea

as

often

as

I

did

so

.

The

more

I

thought

of

what

the

old

man

had

said

,

and

of

his

looks

and

bearing

,

the

less

I

could

account

for

what

I

had

seen

and

heard

.

I

had

a

strong

misgiving

that

his

nightly

absence

was

for

no

good

purpose

.

I

had

only

come

to

know

the

fact

through

the

innocence

of

the

child

,

and

though

the

old

man

was

by

at

the

time

,

and

saw

my

undisguised

surprise

,

he

had

preserved

a

strange

mystery

upon

the

subject

and

offered

no

word

of

explanation

.

These

reflections

naturally

recalled

again

more

strongly

than

before

his

haggard

face

,

his

wandering

manner

,

his

restless

anxious

looks

.

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His

affection

for

the

child

might

not

be

inconsistent

with

villany

of

the

worst

kind

;

even

that

very

affection

was

in

itself

an

extraordinary

contradiction

,

or

how

could

he

leave

her

thus

?

Disposed

as

I

was

to

think

badly

of

him

,

I

never

doubted

that

his

love

for

her

was

real

.

I

could

not

admit

the

thought

,

remembering

what

had

passed

between

us

,

and

the

tone

of

voice

in

which

he

had

called

her

by

her

name

.

‘

Stay

here

of

course

,

’

the

child

had

said

in

answer

to

my

question

,

‘

I

always

do

!

’

What

could

take

him

from

home

by

night

,

and

every

night

!

I

called

up

all

the

strange

tales

I

had

ever

heard

of

dark

and

secret

deeds

committed

in

great

towns

and

escaping

detection

for

a

long

series

of

years

;

wild

as

many

of

these

stories

were

,

I

could

not

find

one

adapted

to

this

mystery

,

which

only

became

the

more

impenetrable

,

in

proportion

as

I

sought

to

solve

it

.

Occupied

with

such

thoughts

as

these

,

and

a

crowd

of

others

all

tending

to

the

same

point

,

I

continued

to

pace

the

street

for

two

long

hours

;

at

length

the

rain

began

to

descend

heavily

,

and

then

over

-

powered

by

fatigue

though

no

less

interested

than

I

had

been

at

first

,

I

engaged

the

nearest

coach

and

so

got

home

.

A

cheerful

fire

was

blazing

on

the

hearth

,

the

lamp

burnt

brightly

,

my

clock

received

me

with

its

old

familiar

welcome

;

everything

was

quiet

,

warm

and

cheering

,

and

in

happy

contrast

to

the

gloom

and

darkness

I

had

quitted

.

But

all

that

night

,

waking

or

in

my

sleep

,

the

same

thoughts

recurred

and

the

same

images

retained

possession

of

my

brain

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I

had

ever

before

me

the

old

dark

murky

rooms

—

the

gaunt

suits

of

mail

with

their

ghostly

silent

air

—

the

faces

all

awry

,

grinning

from

wood

and

stone

—

the

dust

and

rust

and

worm

that

lives

in

wood

—

and

alone

in

the

midst

of

all

this

lumber

and

decay

and

ugly

age

,

the

beautiful

child

in

her

gentle

slumber

,

smiling

through

her

light

and

sunny

dreams

.

After

combating

,

for

nearly

a

week

,

the

feeling

which

impelled

me

to

revisit

the

place

I

had

quitted

under

the

circumstances

already

detailed

,

I

yielded

to

it

at

length

;

and

determining

that

this

time

I

would

present

myself

by

the

light

of

day

,

bent

my

steps

thither

early

in

the

morning

.

I

walked

past

the

house

,

and

took

several

turns

in

the

street

,

with

that

kind

of

hesitation

which

is

natural

to

a

man

who

is

conscious

that

the

visit

he

is

about

to

pay

is

unexpected

,

and

may

not

be

very

acceptable

.

However

,

as

the

door

of

the

shop

was

shut

,

and

it

did

not

appear

likely

that

I

should

be

recognized

by

those

within

,

if

I

continued

merely

to

pass

up

and

down

before

it

,

I

soon

conquered

this

irresolution

,

and

found

myself

in

the

Curiosity

Dealer

’

s

warehouse

.

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