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Weller
;
‘
and
a
wery
pleasant
gen
’
l
’
m
’
n
too
—
one
o
’
the
precise
and
tidy
sort
,
as
puts
their
feet
in
little
India
-
rubber
fire
-
buckets
wen
it
’
s
wet
weather
,
and
never
has
no
other
bosom
friends
but
hare
-
skins
;
he
saved
up
his
money
on
principle
,
wore
a
clean
shirt
ev
’
ry
day
on
principle
;
never
spoke
to
none
of
his
relations
on
principle
,
‘
fear
they
shou
’
d
want
to
borrow
money
of
him
;
and
wos
altogether
,
in
fact
,
an
uncommon
agreeable
character
.
He
had
his
hair
cut
on
principle
vunce
a
fortnight
,
and
contracted
for
his
clothes
on
the
economic
principle
—
three
suits
a
year
,
and
send
back
the
old
uns
.
Being
a
wery
reg
’
lar
gen
’
l
’
m
’
n
,
he
din
’
d
ev
’
ry
day
at
the
same
place
,
where
it
was
one
-
and
-
nine
to
cut
off
the
joint
,
and
a
wery
good
one
-
and
-
nine
’
s
worth
he
used
to
cut
,
as
the
landlord
often
said
,
with
the
tears
a
-
tricklin
’
down
his
face
,
let
alone
the
way
he
used
to
poke
the
fire
in
the
vinter
time
,
which
wos
a
dead
loss
o
’
four
-
pence
ha
’
penny
a
day
,
to
say
nothin
’
at
all
o
’
the
aggrawation
o
’
seein
’
him
do
it
.
So
uncommon
grand
with
it
too
!
"
POST
arter
the
next
gen
’
l
’
m
’
n
,
"
he
sings
out
ev
’
ry
day
ven
he
comes
in
.
"
See
arter
the
TIMES
,
Thomas
;
let
me
look
at
the
MORNIN
’
HERALD
,
when
it
’
s
out
o
’
hand
;
don
’
t
forget
to
bespeak
the
CHRONICLE
;
and
just
bring
the
‘
TIZER
,
vill
you
:
"
and
then
he
’
d
set
vith
his
eyes
fixed
on
the
clock
,
and
rush
out
,
just
a
quarter
of
a
minit
‘
fore
the
time
to
waylay
the
boy
as
wos
a
-
comin
’
in
with
the
evenin
’
paper
,
which
he
’
d
read
with
sich
intense
interest
and
persewerance
as
worked
the
other
customers
up
to
the
wery
confines
o
’
desperation
and
insanity
,
‘
specially
one
i
-
rascible
old
gen
’
l
’
m
’
n
as
the
vaiter
wos
always
obliged
to
keep
a
sharp
eye
on
,
at
sich
times
,
fear
he
should
be
tempted
to
commit
some
rash
act
with
the
carving
-
knife
.
Vell
,
Sir
,
here
he
’
d
stop
,
occupyin
’
the
best
place
for
three
hours
,
and
never
takin
’
nothin
’
arter
his
dinner
,
but
sleep
,
and
then
he
’
d
go
away
to
a
coffee
-
house
a
few
streets
off
,
and
have
a
small
pot
o
’
coffee
and
four
crumpets
,
arter
wich
he
’
d
walk
home
to
Kensington
and
go
to
bed
.
One
night
he
wos
took
very
ill
;
sends
for
a
doctor
;
doctor
comes
in
a
green
fly
,
with
a
kind
o
’
Robinson
Crusoe
set
o
’
steps
,
as
he
could
let
down
wen
he
got
out
,
and
pull
up
arter
him
wen
he
got
in
,
to
perwent
the
necessity
o
’
the
coachman
’
s
gettin
’
down
,
and
thereby
undeceivin
’
the
public
by
lettin
’
’
em
see
that
it
wos
only
a
livery
coat
as
he
’
d
got
on
,
and
not
the
trousers
to
match
.
"
Wot
’
s
the
matter
?
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
Wery
ill
,
"
says
the
patient
.
"
Wot
have
you
been
a
-
eatin
’
on
?
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
Roast
weal
,
"
says
the
patient
.
"
Wot
’
s
the
last
thing
you
dewoured
?
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
Crumpets
,
"
says
the
patient
.
"
That
’
s
it
!
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
I
’
ll
send
you
a
box
of
pills
directly
,
and
don
’
t
you
never
take
no
more
of
’
em
,
"
he
says
.
"
No
more
o
’
wot
?
"
says
the
patient
—
"
pills
?
"
"
No
;
crumpets
,
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
Wy
?
"
says
the
patient
,
starting
up
in
bed
;
"
I
’
ve
eat
four
crumpets
,
ev
’
ry
night
for
fifteen
year
,
on
principle
.
"
"
Well
,
then
,
you
’
d
better
leave
’
em
off
,
on
principle
,
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
Crumpets
is
NOT
wholesome
,
Sir
,
"
says
the
doctor
,
wery
fierce
.
"
But
they
’
re
so
cheap
,
"
says
the
patient
,
comin
’
down
a
little
,
"
and
so
wery
fillin
’
at
the
price
.
"
"
They
’
d
be
dear
to
you
,
at
any
price
;
dear
if
you
wos
paid
to
eat
’
em
,
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
Four
crumpets
a
night
,
"
he
says
,
"
vill
do
your
business
in
six
months
!
"
The
patient
looks
him
full
in
the
face
,
and
turns
it
over
in
his
mind
for
a
long
time
,
and
at
last
he
says
,
"
Are
you
sure
o
’
that
‘
ere
,
Sir
?
"
"
I
’
ll
stake
my
professional
reputation
on
it
,
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
How
many
crumpets
,
at
a
sittin
’
,
do
you
think
’
ud
kill
me
off
at
once
?
"
says
the
patient
.
"
I
don
’
t
know
,
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
Do
you
think
half
-
a
-
crown
’
s
wurth
’
ud
do
it
?
"
says
the
patient
.
"
I
think
it
might
,
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
Three
shillins
’
wurth
’
ud
be
sure
to
do
it
,
I
s
’
pose
?
"
says
the
patient
.
"
Certainly
,
"
says
the
doctor
.
"
Wery
good
,
"
says
the
patient
;
"
good
-
night
.
"
Next
mornin
’
he
gets
up
,
has
a
fire
lit
,
orders
in
three
shillins
’
wurth
o
’
crumpets
,
toasts
’
em
all
,
eats
’
em
all
,
and
blows
his
brains
out
.
’
‘
What
did
he
do
that
for
?
’
inquired
Mr
.
Pickwick
abruptly
;
for
he
was
considerably
startled
by
this
tragical
termination
of
the
narrative
.
‘
Wot
did
he
do
it
for
,
Sir
?
’
reiterated
Sam
.
‘
Wy
,
in
support
of
his
great
principle
that
crumpets
wos
wholesome
,
and
to
show
that
he
wouldn
’
t
be
put
out
of
his
way
for
nobody
!
’
With
such
like
shiftings
and
changings
of
the
discourse
,
did
Mr
.
Weller
meet
his
master
’
s
questioning
on
the
night
of
his
taking
up
his
residence
in
the
Fleet
.
Finding
all
gentle
remonstrance
useless
,
Mr
.
Pickwick
at
length
yielded
a
reluctant
consent
to
his
taking
lodgings
by
the
week
,
of
a
bald
-
headed
cobbler
,
who
rented
a
small
slip
room
in
one
of
the
upper
galleries
.
To
this
humble
apartment
Mr
.
Weller
moved
a
mattress
and
bedding
,
which
he
hired
of
Mr
.
Roker
;
and
,
by
the
time
he
lay
down
upon
it
at
night
,
was
as
much
at
home
as
if
he
had
been
bred
in
the
prison
,
and
his
whole
family
had
vegetated
therein
for
three
generations
.
‘
Do
you
always
smoke
arter
you
goes
to
bed
,
old
cock
?
’
inquired
Mr
.
Weller
of
his
landlord
,
when
they
had
both
retired
for
the
night
.
‘
Yes
,
I
does
,
young
bantam
,
’
replied
the
cobbler
.
‘
Will
you
allow
me
to
in
-
quire
wy
you
make
up
your
bed
under
that
‘
ere
deal
table
?
’
said
Sam
.
‘
‘
Cause
I
was
always
used
to
a
four
-
poster
afore
I
came
here
,
and
I
find
the
legs
of
the
table
answer
just
as
well
,
’
replied
the
cobbler
.
