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- Чарльз Диккенс
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‘
I
shall
show
you
,
gentlemen
,
that
for
two
years
,
Pickwick
continued
to
reside
constantly
,
and
without
interruption
or
intermission
,
at
Mrs
.
Bardell
’
s
house
.
I
shall
show
you
that
Mrs
.
Bardell
,
during
the
whole
of
that
time
,
waited
on
him
,
attended
to
his
comforts
,
cooked
his
meals
,
looked
out
his
linen
for
the
washerwoman
when
it
went
abroad
,
darned
,
aired
,
and
prepared
it
for
wear
,
when
it
came
home
,
and
,
in
short
,
enjoyed
his
fullest
trust
and
confidence
.
I
shall
show
you
that
,
on
many
occasions
,
he
gave
halfpence
,
and
on
some
occasions
even
sixpences
,
to
her
little
boy
;
and
I
shall
prove
to
you
,
by
a
witness
whose
testimony
it
will
be
impossible
for
my
learned
friend
to
weaken
or
controvert
,
that
on
one
occasion
he
patted
the
boy
on
the
head
,
and
,
after
inquiring
whether
he
had
won
any
"
ALLEY
TORS
"
or
"
COMMONEYS
"
lately
(
both
of
which
I
understand
to
be
a
particular
species
of
marbles
much
prized
by
the
youth
of
this
town
)
,
made
use
of
this
remarkable
expression
,
"
How
should
you
like
to
have
another
father
?
"
I
shall
prove
to
you
,
gentlemen
,
that
about
a
year
ago
,
Pickwick
suddenly
began
to
absent
himself
from
home
,
during
long
intervals
,
as
if
with
the
intention
of
gradually
breaking
off
from
my
client
;
but
I
shall
show
you
also
,
that
his
resolution
was
not
at
that
time
sufficiently
strong
,
or
that
his
better
feelings
conquered
,
if
better
feelings
he
has
,
or
that
the
charms
and
accomplishments
of
my
client
prevailed
against
his
unmanly
intentions
,
by
proving
to
you
,
that
on
one
occasion
,
when
he
returned
from
the
country
,
he
distinctly
and
in
terms
,
offered
her
marriage
:
previously
,
however
,
taking
special
care
that
there
would
be
no
witness
to
their
solemn
contract
;
and
I
am
in
a
situation
to
prove
to
you
,
on
the
testimony
of
three
of
his
own
friends
—
most
unwilling
witnesses
,
gentlemen
—
most
unwilling
witnesses
—
that
on
that
morning
he
was
discovered
by
them
holding
the
plaintiff
in
his
arms
,
and
soothing
her
agitation
by
his
caresses
and
endearments
.
’
A
visible
impression
was
produced
upon
the
auditors
by
this
part
of
the
learned
Serjeant
’
s
address
.
Drawing
forth
two
very
small
scraps
of
paper
,
he
proceeded
—
‘
And
now
,
gentlemen
,
but
one
word
more
.
Two
letters
have
passed
between
these
parties
,
letters
which
are
admitted
to
be
in
the
handwriting
of
the
defendant
,
and
which
speak
volumes
,
indeed
.
The
letters
,
too
,
bespeak
the
character
of
the
man
.
They
are
not
open
,
fervent
,
eloquent
epistles
,
breathing
nothing
but
the
language
of
affectionate
attachment
.
They
are
covert
,
sly
,
underhanded
communications
,
but
,
fortunately
,
far
more
conclusive
than
if
couched
in
the
most
glowing
language
and
the
most
poetic
imagery
—
letters
that
must
be
viewed
with
a
cautious
and
suspicious
eye
—
letters
that
were
evidently
intended
at
the
time
,
by
Pickwick
,
to
mislead
and
delude
any
third
parties
into
whose
hands
they
might
fall
.
Let
me
read
the
first
:
"
Garraways
,
twelve
o
’
clock
.
Dear
Mrs
.
B
.
—
Chops
and
tomato
sauce
.
Yours
,
PICKWICK
.
"
Gentlemen
,
what
does
this
mean
?
Chops
and
tomato
sauce
.
Yours
,
Pickwick
!
Chops
!
Gracious
heavens
!
and
tomato
sauce
!
Gentlemen
,
is
the
happiness
of
a
sensitive
and
confiding
female
to
be
trifled
away
,
by
such
shallow
artifices
as
these
?
The
next
has
no
date
whatever
,
which
is
in
itself
suspicious
.
"
Dear
Mrs
.
B
.
,
I
shall
not
be
at
home
till
to
-
morrow
.
Slow
coach
.
"
And
then
follows
this
very
remarkable
expression
.
"
Don
’
t
trouble
yourself
about
the
warming
-
pan
.
"
The
warming
-
pan
!
Why
,
gentlemen
,
who
DOES
trouble
himself
about
a
warming
-
pan
?
When
was
the
peace
of
mind
of
man
or
woman
broken
or
disturbed
by
a
warming
-
pan
,
which
is
in
itself
a
harmless
,
a
useful
,
and
I
will
add
,
gentlemen
,
a
comforting
article
of
domestic
furniture
?
Why
is
Mrs
.
Bardell
so
earnestly
entreated
not
to
agitate
herself
about
this
warming
-
pan
,
unless
(
as
is
no
doubt
the
case
)
it
is
a
mere
cover
for
hidden
fire
—
a
mere
substitute
for
some
endearing
word
or
promise
,
agreeably
to
a
preconcerted
system
of
correspondence
,
artfully
contrived
by
Pickwick
with
a
view
to
his
contemplated
desertion
,
and
which
I
am
not
in
a
condition
to
explain
?
And
what
does
this
allusion
to
the
slow
coach
mean
?
For
aught
I
know
,
it
may
be
a
reference
to
Pickwick
himself
,
who
has
most
unquestionably
been
a
criminally
slow
coach
during
the
whole
of
this
transaction
,
but
whose
speed
will
now
be
very
unexpectedly
accelerated
,
and
whose
wheels
,
gentlemen
,
as
he
will
find
to
his
cost
,
will
very
soon
be
greased
by
you
!
’
Mr
.
Serjeant
Buzfuz
paused
in
this
place
,
to
see
whether
the
jury
smiled
at
his
joke
;
but
as
nobody
took
it
but
the
greengrocer
,
whose
sensitiveness
on
the
subject
was
very
probably
occasioned
by
his
having
subjected
a
chaise
-
cart
to
the
process
in
question
on
that
identical
morning
,
the
learned
Serjeant
considered
it
advisable
to
undergo
a
slight
relapse
into
the
dismals
before
he
concluded
.
‘
But
enough
of
this
,
gentlemen
,
’
said
Mr
.
Serjeant
Buzfuz
,
‘
it
is
difficult
to
smile
with
an
aching
heart
;
it
is
ill
jesting
when
our
deepest
sympathies
are
awakened
.
My
client
’
s
hopes
and
prospects
are
ruined
,
and
it
is
no
figure
of
speech
to
say
that
her
occupation
is
gone
indeed
.
The
bill
is
down
—
but
there
is
no
tenant
.
Eligible
single
gentlemen
pass
and
repass
-
but
there
is
no
invitation
for
to
inquire
within
or
without
.
All
is
gloom
and
silence
in
the
house
;
even
the
voice
of
the
child
is
hushed
;
his
infant
sports
are
disregarded
when
his
mother
weeps
;
his
"
alley
tors
"
and
his
"
commoneys
"
are
alike
neglected
;
he
forgets
the
long
familiar
cry
of
"
knuckle
down
,
"
and
at
tip
-
cheese
,
or
odd
and
even
,
his
hand
is
out
.
But
Pickwick
,
gentlemen
,
Pickwick
,
the
ruthless
destroyer
of
this
domestic
oasis
in
the
desert
of
Goswell
Street
—
Pickwick
who
has
choked
up
the
well
,
and
thrown
ashes
on
the
sward
—
Pickwick
,
who
comes
before
you
to
-
day
with
his
heartless
tomato
sauce
and
warming
-
pans
—
Pickwick
still
rears
his
head
with
unblushing
effrontery
,
and
gazes
without
a
sigh
on
the
ruin
he
has
made
.
Damages
,
gentlemen
—
heavy
damages
is
the
only
punishment
with
which
you
can
visit
him
;
the
only
recompense
you
can
award
to
my
client
.
And
for
those
damages
she
now
appeals
to
an
enlightened
,
a
high
-
minded
,
a
right
-
feeling
,
a
conscientious
,
a
dispassionate
,
a
sympathising
,
a
contemplative
jury
of
her
civilised
countrymen
.
’
With
this
beautiful
peroration
,
Mr
.
Serjeant
Buzfuz
sat
down
,
and
Mr
.
Justice
Stareleigh
woke
up
.
‘
Call
Elizabeth
Cluppins
,
’
said
Serjeant
Buzfuz
,
rising
a
minute
afterwards
,
with
renewed
vigour
.
The
nearest
usher
called
for
Elizabeth
Tuppins
;
another
one
,
at
a
little
distance
off
,
demanded
Elizabeth
Jupkins
;
and
a
third
rushed
in
a
breathless
state
into
King
Street
,
and
screamed
for
Elizabeth
Muffins
till
he
was
hoarse
.
