Большие ожидания/High expectations (Чарльз Диккенс). Страница 412 из 435

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"

I

made

some

attempt

to

get

up

and

dress

myself

.

When

I

next

attended

to

them

,

they

were

standing

a

little

off

from

the

bed

,

looking

at

me

.

I

still

lay

there

.

"

You

see

my

state

,

"

said

I

.

"

I

would

come

with

you

if

I

could

;

but

indeed

I

am

quite

unable

.

If

you

take

me

from

here

,

I

think

I

shall

die

by

the

way

.

"

Отключить рекламу

Perhaps

they

replied

,

or

argued

the

point

,

or

tried

to

encourage

me

to

believe

that

I

was

better

than

I

thought

.

Forasmuch

as

they

hang

in

my

memory

by

only

this

one

slender

thread

,

I

don

’

t

know

what

they

did

,

except

that

they

forbore

to

remove

me

.

That

I

had

a

fever

and

was

avoided

,

that

I

suffered

greatly

,

that

I

often

lost

my

reason

,

that

the

time

seemed

interminable

,

that

I

confounded

impossible

existences

with

my

own

identity

;

that

I

was

a

brick

in

the

house

-

wall

,

and

yet

entreating

to

be

released

from

the

giddy

place

where

the

builders

had

set

me

;

that

I

was

a

steel

beam

of

a

vast

engine

,

clashing

and

whirling

over

a

gulf

,

and

yet

that

I

implored

in

my

own

person

to

have

the

engine

stopped

,

and

my

part

in

it

hammered

off

;

that

I

passed

through

these

phases

of

disease

,

I

know

of

my

own

remembrance

,

and

did

in

some

sort

know

at

the

time

.

That

I

sometimes

struggled

with

real

people

,

in

the

belief

that

they

were

murderers

,

and

that

I

would

all

at

once

comprehend

that

they

meant

to

do

me

good

,

and

would

then

sink

exhausted

in

their

arms

,

and

suffer

them

to

lay

me

down

,

I

also

knew

at

the

time

.

But

,

above

all

,

I

knew

that

there

was

a

constant

tendency

in

all

these

people

—

who

,

when

I

was

very

ill

,

would

present

all

kinds

of

extraordinary

transformations

of

the

human

face

,

and

would

be

much

dilated

in

size

—

above

all

,

I

say

,

I

knew

that

there

was

an

extraordinary

tendency

in

all

these

people

,

sooner

or

later

,

to

settle

down

into

the

likeness

of

Joe

.

After

I

had

turned

the

worst

point

of

my

illness

,

I

began

to

notice

that

while

all

its

other

features

changed

,

this

one

consistent

feature

did

not

change

.

Whoever

came

about

me

,

still

settled

down

into

Joe

.

I

opened

my

eyes

in

the

night

,

and

I

saw

,

in

the

great

chair

at

the

bedside

,

Joe

.

I

opened

my

eyes

in

the

day

,

and

,

sitting

on

the

window

-

seat

,

smoking

his

pipe

in

the

shaded

open

window

,

still

I

saw

Joe

.

I

asked

for

cooling

drink

,

and

the

dear

hand

that

gave

it

me

was

Joe

’

s

.

I

sank

back

on

my

pillow

after

drinking

,

and

the

face

that

looked

so

hopefully

and

tenderly

upon

me

was

the

face

of

Joe

.

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At

last

,

one

day

,

I

took

courage

,

and

said

,

"

Is

it

Joe

?

"

And

the

dear

old

home

-

voice

answered

,

"

Which

it

air

,

old

chap

.

"

"

O

Joe

,

you

break

my

heart

!

Look

angry

at

me

,

Joe

.

Strike

me

,

Joe

.

Tell

me

of

my

ingratitude

.

Don

’

t

be

so

good

to

me

!

"

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