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Nothing
was
needed
but
this
;
the
wretched
man
,
after
loading
wretched
me
with
his
gold
and
silver
chains
for
years
,
had
risked
his
life
to
come
to
me
,
and
I
held
it
there
in
my
keeping
!
If
I
had
loved
him
instead
of
abhorring
him
;
if
I
had
been
attracted
to
him
by
the
strongest
admiration
and
affection
,
instead
of
shrinking
from
him
with
the
strongest
repugnance
;
it
could
have
been
no
worse
.
On
the
contrary
,
it
would
have
been
better
,
for
his
preservation
would
then
have
naturally
and
tenderly
addressed
my
heart
.
My
first
care
was
to
close
the
shutters
,
so
that
no
light
might
be
seen
from
without
,
and
then
to
close
and
make
fast
the
doors
.
While
I
did
so
,
he
stood
at
the
table
drinking
rum
and
eating
biscuit
;
and
when
I
saw
him
thus
engaged
,
I
saw
my
convict
on
the
marshes
at
his
meal
again
.
It
almost
seemed
to
me
as
if
he
must
stoop
down
presently
,
to
file
at
his
leg
.
When
I
had
gone
into
Herbert
’
s
room
,
and
had
shut
off
any
other
communication
between
it
and
the
staircase
than
through
the
room
in
which
our
conversation
had
been
held
,
I
asked
him
if
he
would
go
to
bed
?
He
said
yes
,
but
asked
me
for
some
of
my
"
gentleman
’
s
linen
"
to
put
on
in
the
morning
.
I
brought
it
out
,
and
laid
it
ready
for
him
,
and
my
blood
again
ran
cold
when
he
again
took
me
by
both
hands
to
give
me
good
night
.
I
got
away
from
him
,
without
knowing
how
I
did
it
,
and
mended
the
fire
in
the
room
where
we
had
been
together
,
and
sat
down
by
it
,
afraid
to
go
to
bed
.
For
an
hour
or
more
,
I
remained
too
stunned
to
think
;
and
it
was
not
until
I
began
to
think
,
that
I
began
fully
to
know
how
wrecked
I
was
,
and
how
the
ship
in
which
I
had
sailed
was
gone
to
pieces
.
Miss
Havisham
’
s
intentions
towards
me
,
all
a
mere
dream
;
Estella
not
designed
for
me
;
I
only
suffered
in
Satis
House
as
a
convenience
,
a
sting
for
the
greedy
relations
,
a
model
with
a
mechanical
heart
to
practise
on
when
no
other
practice
was
at
hand
;
those
were
the
first
smarts
I
had
.
But
,
sharpest
and
deepest
pain
of
all
—
it
was
for
the
convict
,
guilty
of
I
knew
not
what
crimes
,
and
liable
to
be
taken
out
of
those
rooms
where
I
sat
thinking
,
and
hanged
at
the
Old
Bailey
door
,
that
I
had
deserted
Joe
.
I
would
not
have
gone
back
to
Joe
now
,
I
would
not
have
gone
back
to
Biddy
now
,
for
any
consideration
;
simply
,
I
suppose
,
because
my
sense
of
my
own
worthless
conduct
to
them
was
greater
than
every
consideration
.
No
wisdom
on
earth
could
have
given
me
the
comfort
that
I
should
have
derived
from
their
simplicity
and
fidelity
;
but
I
could
never
,
never
,
undo
what
I
had
done
.
In
every
rage
of
wind
and
rush
of
rain
,
I
heard
pursuers
.
Twice
,
I
could
have
sworn
there
was
a
knocking
and
whispering
at
the
outer
door
.
With
these
fears
upon
me
,
I
began
either
to
imagine
or
recall
that
I
had
had
mysterious
warnings
of
this
man
’
s
approach
.
That
,
for
weeks
gone
by
,
I
had
passed
faces
in
the
streets
which
I
had
thought
like
his
.
That
these
likenesses
had
grown
more
numerous
,
as
he
,
coming
over
the
sea
,
had
drawn
nearer
.
That
his
wicked
spirit
had
somehow
sent
these
messengers
to
mine
,
and
that
now
on
this
stormy
night
he
was
as
good
as
his
word
,
and
with
me
.
Crowding
up
with
these
reflections
came
the
reflection
that
I
had
seen
him
with
my
childish
eyes
to
be
a
desperately
violent
man
;
that
I
had
heard
that
other
convict
reiterate
that
he
had
tried
to
murder
him
;
that
I
had
seen
him
down
in
the
ditch
tearing
and
fighting
like
a
wild
beast
.
Out
of
such
remembrances
I
brought
into
the
light
of
the
fire
a
half
-
formed
terror
that
it
might
not
be
safe
to
be
shut
up
there
with
him
in
the
dead
of
the
wild
solitary
night
.
This
dilated
until
it
filled
the
room
,
and
impelled
me
to
take
a
candle
and
go
in
and
look
at
my
dreadful
burden
He
had
rolled
a
handkerchief
round
his
head
,
and
his
face
was
set
and
lowering
in
his
sleep
.
But
he
was
asleep
,
and
quietly
too
,
though
he
had
a
pistol
lying
on
the
pillow
.
Assured
of
this
,
I
softly
removed
the
key
to
the
outside
of
his
door
,
and
turned
it
on
him
before
I
again
sat
down
by
the
fire
.
Gradually
I
slipped
from
the
chair
and
lay
on
the
floor
.
When
I
awoke
without
having
parted
in
my
sleep
with
the
perception
of
my
wretchedness
,
the
clocks
of
the
Eastward
churches
were
striking
five
,
the
candles
were
wasted
out
,
the
fire
was
dead
,
and
the
wind
and
rain
intensified
the
thick
black
darkness
.
