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- Чарльз Диккенс
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So
,
we
had
our
slices
served
out
,
as
if
we
were
two
thousand
troops
on
a
forced
march
instead
of
a
man
and
boy
at
home
;
and
we
took
gulps
of
milk
and
water
,
with
apologetic
countenances
,
from
a
jug
on
the
dresser
.
In
the
meantime
,
Mrs
.
Joe
put
clean
white
curtains
up
,
and
tacked
a
new
flowered
flounce
across
the
wide
chimney
to
replace
the
old
one
,
and
uncovered
the
little
state
parlor
across
the
passage
,
which
was
never
uncovered
at
any
other
time
,
but
passed
the
rest
of
the
year
in
a
cool
haze
of
silver
paper
,
which
even
extended
to
the
four
little
white
crockery
poodles
on
the
mantel
-
shelf
,
each
with
a
black
nose
and
a
basket
of
flowers
in
his
mouth
,
and
each
the
counterpart
of
the
other
.
Mrs
.
Joe
was
a
very
clean
housekeeper
,
but
had
an
exquisite
art
of
making
her
cleanliness
more
uncomfortable
and
unacceptable
than
dirt
itself
.
Cleanliness
is
next
to
Godliness
,
and
some
people
do
the
same
by
their
religion
.
My
sister
,
having
so
much
to
do
,
was
going
to
church
vicariously
,
that
is
to
say
,
Joe
and
I
were
going
.
In
his
working
—
clothes
,
Joe
was
a
well
-
knit
characteristic
-
looking
blacksmith
;
in
his
holiday
clothes
,
he
was
more
like
a
scarecrow
in
good
circumstances
,
than
anything
else
.
Nothing
that
he
wore
then
fitted
him
or
seemed
to
belong
to
him
;
and
everything
that
he
wore
then
grazed
him
.
On
the
present
festive
occasion
he
emerged
from
his
room
,
when
the
blithe
bells
were
going
,
the
picture
of
misery
,
in
a
full
suit
of
Sunday
penitentials
.
As
to
me
,
I
think
my
sister
must
have
had
some
general
idea
that
I
was
a
young
offender
whom
an
Accoucheur
Policeman
had
taken
up
(
on
my
birthday
)
and
delivered
over
to
her
,
to
be
dealt
with
according
to
the
outraged
majesty
of
the
law
.
I
was
always
treated
as
if
I
had
insisted
on
being
born
in
opposition
to
the
dictates
of
reason
,
religion
,
and
morality
,
and
against
the
dissuading
arguments
of
my
best
friends
.
Even
when
I
was
taken
to
have
a
new
suit
of
clothes
,
the
tailor
had
orders
to
make
them
like
a
kind
of
Reformatory
,
and
on
no
account
to
let
me
have
the
free
use
of
my
limbs
.
Joe
and
I
going
to
church
,
therefore
,
must
have
been
a
moving
spectacle
for
compassionate
minds
.
Yet
,
what
I
suffered
outside
was
nothing
to
what
I
underwent
within
.
The
terrors
that
had
assailed
me
whenever
Mrs
.
Joe
had
gone
near
the
pantry
,
or
out
of
the
room
,
were
only
to
be
equalled
by
the
remorse
with
which
my
mind
dwelt
on
what
my
hands
had
done
.
Under
the
weight
of
my
wicked
secret
,
I
pondered
whether
the
Church
would
be
powerful
enough
to
shield
me
from
the
vengeance
of
the
terrible
young
man
,
if
I
divulged
to
that
establishment
.
I
conceived
the
idea
that
the
time
when
the
banns
were
read
and
when
the
clergyman
said
,
"
Ye
are
now
to
declare
it
!
"
would
be
the
time
for
me
to
rise
and
propose
a
private
conference
in
the
vestry
.
I
am
far
from
being
sure
that
I
might
not
have
astonished
our
small
congregation
by
resorting
to
this
extreme
measure
,
but
for
its
being
Christmas
Day
and
no
Sunday
.
Mr
.
Wopsle
,
the
clerk
at
church
,
was
to
dine
with
us
;
and
Mr
.
Hubble
the
wheelwright
and
Mrs
.
Hubble
;
and
Uncle
Pumblechook
(
Joe
’
s
uncle
,
but
Mrs
.
Joe
appropriated
him
)
,
who
was
a
well
-
to
-
do
cornchandler
in
the
nearest
town
,
and
drove
his
own
chaise
-
cart
.
The
dinner
hour
was
half
-
past
one
.
When
Joe
and
I
got
home
,
we
found
the
table
laid
,
and
Mrs
.
Joe
dressed
,
and
the
dinner
dressing
,
and
the
front
door
unlocked
(
it
never
was
at
any
other
time
)
for
the
company
to
enter
by
,
and
everything
most
splendid
.
And
still
,
not
a
word
of
the
robbery
.
The
time
came
,
without
bringing
with
it
any
relief
to
my
feelings
,
and
the
company
came
.
Mr
.
Wopsle
,
united
to
a
Roman
nose
and
a
large
shining
bald
forehead
,
had
a
deep
voice
which
he
was
uncommonly
proud
of
;
indeed
it
was
understood
among
his
acquaintance
that
if
you
could
only
give
him
his
head
,
he
would
read
the
clergyman
into
fits
;
he
himself
confessed
that
if
the
Church
was
"
thrown
open
,
"
meaning
to
competition
,
he
would
not
despair
of
making
his
mark
in
it
.
The
Church
not
being
"
thrown
open
,
"
he
was
,
as
I
have
said
,
our
clerk
.
But
he
punished
the
Amens
tremendously
;
and
when
he
gave
out
the
psalm
—
always
giving
the
whole
verse
—
he
looked
all
round
the
congregation
first
,
as
much
as
to
say
,
"
You
have
heard
my
friend
overhead
;
oblige
me
with
your
opinion
of
this
style
!
"
I
opened
the
door
to
the
company
—
making
believe
that
it
was
a
habit
of
ours
to
open
that
door
—
and
I
opened
it
first
to
Mr
.
Wopsle
,
next
to
Mr
.
and
Mrs
.
Hubble
,
and
last
of
all
to
Uncle
Pumblechook
.
N
.
B
.
I
was
not
allowed
to
call
him
uncle
,
under
the
severest
penalties
.
"
Mrs
.
Joe
,
"
said
Uncle
Pumblechook
,
a
large
hard
-
breathing
middle
-
aged
slow
man
,
with
a
mouth
like
a
fish
,
dull
staring
eyes
,
and
sandy
hair
standing
upright
on
his
head
,
so
that
he
looked
as
if
he
had
just
been
all
but
choked
,
and
had
that
moment
come
to
,
"
I
have
brought
you
as
the
compliments
of
the
season
—
I
have
brought
you
,
Mum
,
a
bottle
of
sherry
wine
—
and
I
have
brought
you
,
Mum
,
a
bottle
of
port
wine
.
"
Every
Christmas
Day
he
presented
himself
,
as
a
profound
novelty
,
with
exactly
the
same
words
,
and
carrying
the
two
bottles
like
dumb
-
bells
.
