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- Чарльз Диккенс
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- Дэвид Копперфильд
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But
,
sometimes
,
when
I
took
her
up
,
and
felt
that
she
was
lighter
in
my
arms
,
a
dead
blank
feeling
came
upon
me
,
as
if
I
were
approaching
to
some
frozen
region
yet
unseen
,
that
numbed
my
life
.
I
avoided
the
recognition
of
this
feeling
by
any
name
,
or
by
any
communing
with
myself
;
until
one
night
,
when
it
was
very
strong
upon
me
,
and
my
aunt
had
left
her
with
a
parting
cry
of
‘
Good
night
,
Little
Blossom
,
’
I
sat
down
at
my
desk
alone
,
and
cried
to
think
,
Oh
what
a
fatal
name
it
was
,
and
how
the
blossom
withered
in
its
bloom
upon
the
tree
!
Ireceived
one
morning
by
the
post
,
the
following
letter
,
dated
Canterbury
,
and
addressed
to
me
at
Doctor
’
s
Commons
;
which
I
read
with
some
surprise
:
‘
My
DEAR
SIR
,
‘
Circumstances
beyond
my
individual
control
have
,
for
a
considerable
lapse
of
time
,
effected
a
severance
of
that
intimacy
which
,
in
the
limited
opportunities
conceded
to
me
in
the
midst
of
my
professional
duties
,
of
contemplating
the
scenes
and
events
of
the
past
,
tinged
by
the
prismatic
hues
of
memory
,
has
ever
afforded
me
,
as
it
ever
must
continue
to
afford
,
gratifying
emotions
of
no
common
description
.
This
fact
,
my
dear
sir
,
combined
with
the
distinguished
elevation
to
which
your
talents
have
raised
you
,
deters
me
from
presuming
to
aspire
to
the
liberty
of
addressing
the
companion
of
my
youth
,
by
the
familiar
appellation
of
Copperfield
!
It
is
sufficient
to
know
that
the
name
to
which
I
do
myself
the
honour
to
refer
,
will
ever
be
treasured
among
the
muniments
of
our
house
(
I
allude
to
the
archives
connected
with
our
former
lodgers
,
preserved
by
Mrs
.
Micawber
)
,
with
sentiments
of
personal
esteem
amounting
to
affection
.
‘
It
is
not
for
one
,
situated
,
through
his
original
errors
and
a
fortuitous
combination
of
unpropitious
events
,
as
is
the
foundered
Bark
(
if
he
may
be
allowed
to
assume
so
maritime
a
denomination
)
,
who
now
takes
up
the
pen
to
address
you
—
it
is
not
,
I
repeat
,
for
one
so
circumstanced
,
to
adopt
the
language
of
compliment
,
or
of
congratulation
.
That
he
leaves
to
abler
and
to
purer
hands
.
‘
If
your
more
important
avocations
should
admit
of
your
ever
tracing
these
imperfect
characters
thus
far
—
which
may
be
,
or
may
not
be
,
as
circumstances
arise
—
you
will
naturally
inquire
by
what
object
am
I
influenced
,
then
,
in
inditing
the
present
missive
?
Allow
me
to
say
that
I
fully
defer
to
the
reasonable
character
of
that
inquiry
,
and
proceed
to
develop
it
;
premising
that
it
is
not
an
object
of
a
pecuniary
nature
.
‘
Without
more
directly
referring
to
any
latent
ability
that
may
possibly
exist
on
my
part
,
of
wielding
the
thunderbolt
,
or
directing
the
devouring
and
avenging
flame
in
any
quarter
,
I
may
be
permitted
to
observe
,
in
passing
,
that
my
brightest
visions
are
for
ever
dispelled
—
that
my
peace
is
shattered
and
my
power
of
enjoyment
destroyed
—
that
my
heart
is
no
longer
in
the
right
place
-
and
that
I
no
more
walk
erect
before
my
fellow
man
.
The
canker
is
in
the
flower
.
The
cup
is
bitter
to
the
brim
.
The
worm
is
at
his
work
,
and
will
soon
dispose
of
his
victim
.
The
sooner
the
better
.
But
I
will
not
digress
.
‘
Placed
in
a
mental
position
of
peculiar
painfulness
,
beyond
the
assuaging
reach
even
of
Mrs
.
Micawber
’
s
influence
,
though
exercised
in
the
tripartite
character
of
woman
,
wife
,
and
mother
,
it
is
my
intention
to
fly
from
myself
for
a
short
period
,
and
devote
a
respite
of
eight
-
and
-
forty
hours
to
revisiting
some
metropolitan
scenes
of
past
enjoyment
.
Among
other
havens
of
domestic
tranquillity
and
peace
of
mind
,
my
feet
will
naturally
tend
towards
the
King
’
s
Bench
Prison
.
In
stating
that
I
shall
be
(
D
.
V
.
)
on
the
outside
of
the
south
wall
of
that
place
of
incarceration
on
civil
process
,
the
day
after
tomorrow
,
at
seven
in
the
evening
,
precisely
,
my
object
in
this
epistolary
communication
is
accomplished
.
‘
I
do
not
feel
warranted
in
soliciting
my
former
friend
Mr
.
Copperfield
,
or
my
former
friend
Mr
.
Thomas
Traddles
of
the
Inner
Temple
,
if
that
gentleman
is
still
existent
and
forthcoming
,
to
condescend
to
meet
me
,
and
renew
(
so
far
as
may
be
)
our
past
relations
of
the
olden
time
.
I
confine
myself
to
throwing
out
the
observation
,
that
,
at
the
hour
and
place
I
have
indicated
,
may
be
found
such
ruined
vestiges
as
yet
‘
Remain
,
‘
Of
‘
A
‘
Fallen
Tower
,
‘
WILKINS
MICAWBER
.
