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- Чарльз Диккенс
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- Дэвид Копперфильд
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- Стр. 640/820
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It
is
not
my
purpose
,
in
this
record
,
though
in
all
other
essentials
it
is
my
written
memory
,
to
pursue
the
history
of
my
own
fictions
.
They
express
themselves
,
and
I
leave
them
to
themselves
.
When
I
refer
to
them
,
incidentally
,
it
is
only
as
a
part
of
my
progress
.
Having
some
foundation
for
believing
,
by
this
time
,
that
nature
and
accident
had
made
me
an
author
,
I
pursued
my
vocation
with
confidence
.
Without
such
assurance
I
should
certainly
have
left
it
alone
,
and
bestowed
my
energy
on
some
other
endeavour
.
I
should
have
tried
to
find
out
what
nature
and
accident
really
had
made
me
,
and
to
be
that
,
and
nothing
else
.
I
had
been
writing
,
in
the
newspaper
and
elsewhere
,
so
prosperously
,
that
when
my
new
success
was
achieved
,
I
considered
myself
reasonably
entitled
to
escape
from
the
dreary
debates
.
One
joyful
night
,
therefore
,
I
noted
down
the
music
of
the
parliamentary
bagpipes
for
the
last
time
,
and
I
have
never
heard
it
since
;
though
I
still
recognize
the
old
drone
in
the
newspapers
,
without
any
substantial
variation
(
except
,
perhaps
,
that
there
is
more
of
it
)
,
all
the
livelong
session
.
I
now
write
of
the
time
when
I
had
been
married
,
I
suppose
,
about
a
year
and
a
half
.
After
several
varieties
of
experiment
,
we
had
given
up
the
housekeeping
as
a
bad
job
.
The
house
kept
itself
,
and
we
kept
a
page
.
The
principal
function
of
this
retainer
was
to
quarrel
with
the
cook
;
in
which
respect
he
was
a
perfect
Whittington
,
without
his
cat
,
or
the
remotest
chance
of
being
made
Lord
Mayor
.
He
appears
to
me
to
have
lived
in
a
hail
of
saucepan
-
lids
.
His
whole
existence
was
a
scuffle
.
He
would
shriek
for
help
on
the
most
improper
occasions
,
—
as
when
we
had
a
little
dinner
-
party
,
or
a
few
friends
in
the
evening
,
—
and
would
come
tumbling
out
of
the
kitchen
,
with
iron
missiles
flying
after
him
.
We
wanted
to
get
rid
of
him
,
but
he
was
very
much
attached
to
us
,
and
wouldn
’
t
go
.
He
was
a
tearful
boy
,
and
broke
into
such
deplorable
lamentations
,
when
a
cessation
of
our
connexion
was
hinted
at
,
that
we
were
obliged
to
keep
him
.
He
had
no
mother
—
no
anything
in
the
way
of
a
relative
,
that
I
could
discover
,
except
a
sister
,
who
fled
to
America
the
moment
we
had
taken
him
off
her
hands
;
and
he
became
quartered
on
us
like
a
horrible
young
changeling
.
He
had
a
lively
perception
of
his
own
unfortunate
state
,
and
was
always
rubbing
his
eyes
with
the
sleeve
of
his
jacket
,
or
stooping
to
blow
his
nose
on
the
extreme
corner
of
a
little
pocket
-
handkerchief
,
which
he
never
would
take
completely
out
of
his
pocket
,
but
always
economized
and
secreted
.
This
unlucky
page
,
engaged
in
an
evil
hour
at
six
pounds
ten
per
annum
,
was
a
source
of
continual
trouble
to
me
.
I
watched
him
as
he
grew
—
and
he
grew
like
scarlet
beans
—
with
painful
apprehensions
of
the
time
when
he
would
begin
to
shave
;
even
of
the
days
when
he
would
be
bald
or
grey
.
I
saw
no
prospect
of
ever
getting
rid
of
him
;
and
,
projecting
myself
into
the
future
,
used
to
think
what
an
inconvenience
he
would
be
when
he
was
an
old
man
.
I
never
expected
anything
less
,
than
this
unfortunate
’
s
manner
of
getting
me
out
of
my
difficulty
.
He
stole
Dora
’
s
watch
,
which
,
like
everything
else
belonging
to
us
,
had
no
particular
place
of
its
own
;
and
,
converting
it
into
money
,
spent
the
produce
(
he
was
always
a
weak
-
minded
boy
)
in
incessantly
riding
up
and
down
between
London
and
Uxbridge
outside
the
coach
.
He
was
taken
to
Bow
Street
,
as
well
as
I
remember
,
on
the
completion
of
his
fifteenth
journey
;
when
four
-
and
-
sixpence
,
and
a
second
-
hand
fife
which
he
couldn
’
t
play
,
were
found
upon
his
person
.
The
surprise
and
its
consequences
would
have
been
much
less
disagreeable
to
me
if
he
had
not
been
penitent
.
But
he
was
very
penitent
indeed
,
and
in
a
peculiar
way
—
not
in
the
lump
,
but
by
instalments
.
For
example
:
the
day
after
that
on
which
I
was
obliged
to
appear
against
him
,
he
made
certain
revelations
touching
a
hamper
in
the
cellar
,
which
we
believed
to
be
full
of
wine
,
but
which
had
nothing
in
it
except
bottles
and
corks
.
We
supposed
he
had
now
eased
his
mind
,
and
told
the
worst
he
knew
of
the
cook
;
but
,
a
day
or
two
afterwards
,
his
conscience
sustained
a
new
twinge
,
and
he
disclosed
how
she
had
a
little
girl
,
who
,
early
every
morning
,
took
away
our
bread
;
and
also
how
he
himself
had
been
suborned
to
maintain
the
milkman
in
coals
.
In
two
or
three
days
more
,
I
was
informed
by
the
authorities
of
his
having
led
to
the
discovery
of
sirloins
of
beef
among
the
kitchen
-
stuff
,
and
sheets
in
the
rag
-
bag
.
A
little
while
afterwards
,
he
broke
out
in
an
entirely
new
direction
,
and
confessed
to
a
knowledge
of
burglarious
intentions
as
to
our
premises
,
on
the
part
of
the
pot
-
boy
,
who
was
immediately
taken
up
.
I
got
to
be
so
ashamed
of
being
such
a
victim
,
that
I
would
have
given
him
any
money
to
hold
his
tongue
,
or
would
have
offered
a
round
bribe
for
his
being
permitted
to
run
away
.
It
was
an
aggravating
circumstance
in
the
case
that
he
had
no
idea
of
this
,
but
conceived
that
he
was
making
me
amends
in
every
new
discovery
:
not
to
say
,
heaping
obligations
on
my
head
.
