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- Чарльз Диккенс
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- Дэвид Копперфильд
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- Стр. 56/820
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How
well
I
recollect
,
when
I
became
quiet
,
what
an
unnatural
stillness
seemed
to
reign
through
the
whole
house
!
How
well
I
remember
,
when
my
smart
and
passion
began
to
cool
,
how
wicked
I
began
to
feel
!
I
sat
listening
for
a
long
while
,
but
there
was
not
a
sound
.
I
crawled
up
from
the
floor
,
and
saw
my
face
in
the
glass
,
so
swollen
,
red
,
and
ugly
that
it
almost
frightened
me
.
My
stripes
were
sore
and
stiff
,
and
made
me
cry
afresh
,
when
I
moved
;
but
they
were
nothing
to
the
guilt
I
felt
.
It
lay
heavier
on
my
breast
than
if
I
had
been
a
most
atrocious
criminal
,
I
dare
say
.
It
had
begun
to
grow
dark
,
and
I
had
shut
the
window
(
I
had
been
lying
,
for
the
most
part
,
with
my
head
upon
the
sill
,
by
turns
crying
,
dozing
,
and
looking
listlessly
out
)
,
when
the
key
was
turned
,
and
Miss
Murdstone
came
in
with
some
bread
and
meat
,
and
milk
.
These
she
put
down
upon
the
table
without
a
word
,
glaring
at
me
the
while
with
exemplary
firmness
,
and
then
retired
,
locking
the
door
after
her
.
Long
after
it
was
dark
I
sat
there
,
wondering
whether
anybody
else
would
come
.
When
this
appeared
improbable
for
that
night
,
I
undressed
,
and
went
to
bed
;
and
,
there
,
I
began
to
wonder
fearfully
what
would
be
done
to
me
.
Whether
it
was
a
criminal
act
that
I
had
committed
?
Whether
I
should
be
taken
into
custody
,
and
sent
to
prison
?
Whether
I
was
at
all
in
danger
of
being
hanged
?
I
never
shall
forget
the
waking
,
next
morning
;
the
being
cheerful
and
fresh
for
the
first
moment
,
and
then
the
being
weighed
down
by
the
stale
and
dismal
oppression
of
remembrance
.
Miss
Murdstone
reappeared
before
I
was
out
of
bed
;
told
me
,
in
so
many
words
,
that
I
was
free
to
walk
in
the
garden
for
half
an
hour
and
no
longer
;
and
retired
,
leaving
the
door
open
,
that
I
might
avail
myself
of
that
permission
.
I
did
so
,
and
did
so
every
morning
of
my
imprisonment
,
which
lasted
five
days
.
If
I
could
have
seen
my
mother
alone
,
I
should
have
gone
down
on
my
knees
to
her
and
besought
her
forgiveness
;
but
I
saw
no
one
,
Miss
Murdstone
excepted
,
during
the
whole
time
—
except
at
evening
prayers
in
the
parlour
;
to
which
I
was
escorted
by
Miss
Murdstone
after
everybody
else
was
placed
;
where
I
was
stationed
,
a
young
outlaw
,
all
alone
by
myself
near
the
door
;
and
whence
I
was
solemnly
conducted
by
my
jailer
,
before
any
one
arose
from
the
devotional
posture
.
I
only
observed
that
my
mother
was
as
far
off
from
me
as
she
could
be
,
and
kept
her
face
another
way
so
that
I
never
saw
it
;
and
that
Mr
.
Murdstone
’
s
hand
was
bound
up
in
a
large
linen
wrapper
.
The
length
of
those
five
days
I
can
convey
no
idea
of
to
any
one
.
They
occupy
the
place
of
years
in
my
remembrance
.
The
way
in
which
I
listened
to
all
the
incidents
of
the
house
that
made
themselves
audible
to
me
;
the
ringing
of
bells
,
the
opening
and
shutting
of
doors
,
the
murmuring
of
voices
,
the
footsteps
on
the
stairs
;
to
any
laughing
,
whistling
,
or
singing
,
outside
,
which
seemed
more
dismal
than
anything
else
to
me
in
my
solitude
and
disgrace
—
the
uncertain
pace
of
the
hours
,
especially
at
night
,
when
I
would
wake
thinking
it
was
morning
,
and
find
that
the
family
were
not
yet
gone
to
bed
,
and
that
all
the
length
of
night
had
yet
to
come
—
the
depressed
dreams
and
nightmares
I
had
—
the
return
of
day
,
noon
,
afternoon
,
evening
,
when
the
boys
played
in
the
churchyard
,
and
I
watched
them
from
a
distance
within
the
room
,
being
ashamed
to
show
myself
at
the
window
lest
they
should
know
I
was
a
prisoner
—
the
strange
sensation
of
never
hearing
myself
speak
—
the
fleeting
intervals
of
something
like
cheerfulness
,
which
came
with
eating
and
drinking
,
and
went
away
with
it
—
the
setting
in
of
rain
one
evening
,
with
a
fresh
smell
,
and
its
coming
down
faster
and
faster
between
me
and
the
church
,
until
it
and
gathering
night
seemed
to
quench
me
in
gloom
,
and
fear
,
and
remorse
—
all
this
appears
to
have
gone
round
and
round
for
years
instead
of
days
,
it
is
so
vividly
and
strongly
stamped
on
my
remembrance
.
On
the
last
night
of
my
restraint
,
I
was
awakened
by
hearing
my
own
name
spoken
in
a
whisper
.
I
started
up
in
bed
,
and
putting
out
my
arms
in
the
dark
,
said
:
