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- Авторы
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- Чарльз Диккенс
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- Дэвид Копперфильд
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- Стр. 510/820
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I
cannot
describe
the
state
of
mind
into
which
I
was
thrown
by
this
intelligence
.
The
shock
of
such
an
event
happening
so
suddenly
,
and
happening
to
one
with
whom
I
had
been
in
any
respect
at
variance
—
the
appalling
vacancy
in
the
room
he
had
occupied
so
lately
,
where
his
chair
and
table
seemed
to
wait
for
him
,
and
his
handwriting
of
yesterday
was
like
a
ghost
—
the
in
-
definable
impossibility
of
separating
him
from
the
place
,
and
feeling
,
when
the
door
opened
,
as
if
he
might
come
in
—
the
lazy
hush
and
rest
there
was
in
the
office
,
and
the
insatiable
relish
with
which
our
people
talked
about
it
,
and
other
people
came
in
and
out
all
day
,
and
gorged
themselves
with
the
subject
—
this
is
easily
intelligible
to
anyone
.
What
I
cannot
describe
is
,
how
,
in
the
innermost
recesses
of
my
own
heart
,
I
had
a
lurking
jealousy
even
of
Death
.
How
I
felt
as
if
its
might
would
push
me
from
my
ground
in
Dora
’
s
thoughts
.
How
I
was
,
in
a
grudging
way
I
have
no
words
for
,
envious
of
her
grief
.
How
it
made
me
restless
to
think
of
her
weeping
to
others
,
or
being
consoled
by
others
.
How
I
had
a
grasping
,
avaricious
wish
to
shut
out
everybody
from
her
but
myself
,
and
to
be
all
in
all
to
her
,
at
that
unseasonable
time
of
all
times
.
In
the
trouble
of
this
state
of
mind
—
not
exclusively
my
own
,
I
hope
,
but
known
to
others
—
I
went
down
to
Norwood
that
night
;
and
finding
from
one
of
the
servants
,
when
I
made
my
inquiries
at
the
door
,
that
Miss
Mills
was
there
,
got
my
aunt
to
direct
a
letter
to
her
,
which
I
wrote
.
I
deplored
the
untimely
death
of
Mr
.
Spenlow
,
most
sincerely
,
and
shed
tears
in
doing
so
.
I
entreated
her
to
tell
Dora
,
if
Dora
were
in
a
state
to
hear
it
,
that
he
had
spoken
to
me
with
the
utmost
kindness
and
consideration
;
and
had
coupled
nothing
but
tenderness
,
not
a
single
or
reproachful
word
,
with
her
name
.
I
know
I
did
this
selfishly
,
to
have
my
name
brought
before
her
;
but
I
tried
to
believe
it
was
an
act
of
justice
to
his
memory
.
Perhaps
I
did
believe
it
.
My
aunt
received
a
few
lines
next
day
in
reply
;
addressed
,
outside
,
to
her
;
within
,
to
me
.
Dora
was
overcome
by
grief
;
and
when
her
friend
had
asked
her
should
she
send
her
love
to
me
,
had
only
cried
,
as
she
was
always
crying
,
‘
Oh
,
dear
papa
!
oh
,
poor
papa
!
’
But
she
had
not
said
No
,
and
that
I
made
the
most
of
.
Mr
.
jorkins
,
who
had
been
at
Norwood
since
the
occurrence
,
came
to
the
office
a
few
days
afterwards
.
He
and
Tiffey
were
closeted
together
for
some
few
moments
,
and
then
Tiffey
looked
out
at
the
door
and
beckoned
me
in
.
‘
Oh
!
’
said
Mr
.
jorkins
.
‘
Mr
.
Tiffey
and
myself
,
Mr
.
Copperfield
,
are
about
to
examine
the
desks
,
the
drawers
,
and
other
such
repositories
of
the
deceased
,
with
the
view
of
sealing
up
his
private
papers
,
and
searching
for
a
Will
.
There
is
no
trace
of
any
,
elsewhere
.
It
may
be
as
well
for
you
to
assist
us
,
if
you
please
.
’
I
had
been
in
agony
to
obtain
some
knowledge
of
the
circumstances
in
which
my
Dora
would
be
placed
—
as
,
in
whose
guardianship
,
and
so
forth
—
and
this
was
something
towards
it
.
We
began
the
search
at
once
;
Mr
.
jorkins
unlocking
the
drawers
and
desks
,
and
we
all
taking
out
the
papers
.
The
office
-
papers
we
placed
on
one
side
,
and
the
private
papers
(
which
were
not
numerous
)
on
the
other
.
We
were
very
grave
;
and
when
we
came
to
a
stray
seal
,
or
pencil
-
case
,
or
ring
,
or
any
little
article
of
that
kind
which
we
associated
personally
with
him
,
we
spoke
very
low
.
We
had
sealed
up
several
packets
;
and
were
still
going
on
dustily
and
quietly
,
when
Mr
.
jorkins
said
to
us
,
applying
exactly
the
same
words
to
his
late
partner
as
his
late
partner
had
applied
to
him
:
‘
Mr
.
Spenlow
was
very
difficult
to
move
from
the
beaten
track
.
You
know
what
he
was
!
I
am
disposed
to
think
he
had
made
no
will
.
’
