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- Чарльз Диккенс
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- Дэвид Копперфильд
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- Стр. 113/820
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In
short
,
I
was
not
a
favourite
there
with
anybody
,
not
even
with
myself
;
for
those
who
did
like
me
could
not
show
it
,
and
those
who
did
not
,
showed
it
so
plainly
that
I
had
a
sensitive
consciousness
of
always
appearing
constrained
,
boorish
,
and
dull
.
I
felt
that
I
made
them
as
uncomfortable
as
they
made
me
.
If
I
came
into
the
room
where
they
were
,
and
they
were
talking
together
and
my
mother
seemed
cheerful
,
an
anxious
cloud
would
steal
over
her
face
from
the
moment
of
my
entrance
.
If
Mr
.
Murdstone
were
in
his
best
humour
,
I
checked
him
.
If
Miss
Murdstone
were
in
her
worst
,
I
intensified
it
.
I
had
perception
enough
to
know
that
my
mother
was
the
victim
always
;
that
she
was
afraid
to
speak
to
me
or
to
be
kind
to
me
,
lest
she
should
give
them
some
offence
by
her
manner
of
doing
so
,
and
receive
a
lecture
afterwards
;
that
she
was
not
only
ceaselessly
afraid
of
her
own
offending
,
but
of
my
offending
,
and
uneasily
watched
their
looks
if
I
only
moved
.
Therefore
I
resolved
to
keep
myself
as
much
out
of
their
way
as
I
could
;
and
many
a
wintry
hour
did
I
hear
the
church
clock
strike
,
when
I
was
sitting
in
my
cheerless
bedroom
,
wrapped
in
my
little
great
-
coat
,
poring
over
a
book
.
In
the
evening
,
sometimes
,
I
went
and
sat
with
Peggotty
in
the
kitchen
.
There
I
was
comfortable
,
and
not
afraid
of
being
myself
.
But
neither
of
these
resources
was
approved
of
in
the
parlour
.
The
tormenting
humour
which
was
dominant
there
stopped
them
both
.
I
was
still
held
to
be
necessary
to
my
poor
mother
’
s
training
,
and
,
as
one
of
her
trials
,
could
not
be
suffered
to
absent
myself
.
‘
David
,
’
said
Mr
.
Murdstone
,
one
day
after
dinner
when
I
was
going
to
leave
the
room
as
usual
;
‘
I
am
sorry
to
observe
that
you
are
of
a
sullen
disposition
.
’
‘
As
sulky
as
a
bear
!
’
said
Miss
Murdstone
.
I
stood
still
,
and
hung
my
head
.
‘
Now
,
David
,
’
said
Mr
.
Murdstone
,
‘
a
sullen
obdurate
disposition
is
,
of
all
tempers
,
the
worst
.
’
‘
And
the
boy
’
s
is
,
of
all
such
dispositions
that
ever
I
have
seen
,
’
remarked
his
sister
,
‘
the
most
confirmed
and
stubborn
.
I
think
,
my
dear
Clara
,
even
you
must
observe
it
?
’
‘
I
beg
your
pardon
,
my
dear
Jane
,
’
said
my
mother
,
‘
but
are
you
quite
sure
—
I
am
certain
you
’
ll
excuse
me
,
my
dear
Jane
—
that
you
understand
Davy
?
’
