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- Чарльз Диккенс
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For
the
same
reason
I
am
almost
afraid
to
hint
at
that
time
in
my
disorder
—
it
seemed
one
long
night
,
but
I
believe
there
were
both
nights
and
days
in
it
—
when
I
laboured
up
colossal
staircases
,
ever
striving
to
reach
the
top
,
and
ever
turned
,
as
I
have
seen
a
worm
in
a
garden
path
,
by
some
obstruction
,
and
labouring
again
.
I
knew
perfectly
at
intervals
,
and
I
think
vaguely
at
most
times
,
that
I
was
in
my
bed
;
and
I
talked
with
Charley
,
and
felt
her
touch
,
and
knew
her
very
well
;
yet
I
would
find
myself
complaining
,
"
Oh
,
more
of
these
never
-
ending
stairs
,
Charley
—
more
and
more
—
piled
up
to
the
sky
’
,
I
think
!
"
and
labouring
on
again
.
Dare
I
hint
at
that
worse
time
when
,
strung
together
somewhere
in
great
black
space
,
there
was
a
flaming
necklace
,
or
ring
,
or
starry
circle
of
some
kind
,
of
which
I
was
one
of
the
beads
!
And
when
my
only
prayer
was
to
be
taken
off
from
the
rest
and
when
it
was
such
inexplicable
agony
and
misery
to
be
a
part
of
the
dreadful
thing
?
Perhaps
the
less
I
say
of
these
sick
experiences
,
the
less
tedious
and
the
more
intelligible
I
shall
be
.
I
do
not
recall
them
to
make
others
unhappy
or
because
I
am
now
the
least
unhappy
in
remembering
them
.
It
may
be
that
if
we
knew
more
of
such
strange
afflictions
we
might
be
the
better
able
to
alleviate
their
intensity
.
The
repose
that
succeeded
,
the
long
delicious
sleep
,
the
blissful
rest
,
when
in
my
weakness
I
was
too
calm
to
have
any
care
for
myself
and
could
have
heard
(
or
so
I
think
now
)
that
I
was
dying
,
with
no
other
emotion
than
with
a
pitying
love
for
those
I
left
behind
—
this
state
can
be
perhaps
more
widely
understood
.
I
was
in
this
state
when
I
first
shrunk
from
the
light
as
it
twinkled
on
me
once
more
,
and
knew
with
a
boundless
joy
for
which
no
words
are
rapturous
enough
that
I
should
see
again
.
I
had
heard
my
Ada
crying
at
the
door
,
day
and
night
;
I
had
heard
her
calling
to
me
that
I
was
cruel
and
did
not
love
her
;
I
had
heard
her
praying
and
imploring
to
be
let
in
to
nurse
and
comfort
me
and
to
leave
my
bedside
no
more
;
but
I
had
only
said
,
when
I
could
speak
,
"
Never
,
my
sweet
girl
,
never
!
"
and
I
had
over
and
over
again
reminded
Charley
that
she
was
to
keep
my
darling
from
the
room
whether
I
lived
or
died
.
Charley
had
been
true
to
me
in
that
time
of
need
,
and
with
her
little
hand
and
her
great
heart
had
kept
the
door
fast
.
But
now
,
my
sight
strengthening
and
the
glorious
light
coming
every
day
more
fully
and
brightly
on
me
,
I
could
read
the
letters
that
my
dear
wrote
to
me
every
morning
and
evening
and
could
put
them
to
my
lips
and
lay
my
cheek
upon
them
with
no
fear
of
hurting
her
.
I
could
see
my
little
maid
,
so
tender
and
so
careful
,
going
about
the
two
rooms
setting
everything
in
order
and
speaking
cheerfully
to
Ada
from
the
open
window
again
.
I
could
understand
the
stillness
in
the
house
and
the
thoughtfulness
it
expressed
on
the
part
of
all
those
who
had
always
been
so
good
to
me
.
I
could
weep
in
the
exquisite
felicity
of
my
heart
and
be
as
happy
in
my
weakness
as
ever
I
had
been
in
my
strength
.
By
and
by
my
strength
began
to
be
restored
.
Instead
of
lying
,
with
so
strange
a
calmness
,
watching
what
was
done
for
me
,
as
if
it
were
done
for
some
one
else
whom
I
was
quietly
sorry
for
,
I
helped
it
a
little
,
and
so
on
to
a
little
more
and
much
more
,
until
I
became
useful
to
myself
,
and
interested
,
and
attached
to
life
again
.
How
well
I
remember
the
pleasant
afternoon
when
I
was
raised
in
bed
with
pillows
for
the
first
time
to
enjoy
a
great
tea
-
drinking
with
Charley
!
The
little
creature
—
sent
into
the
world
,
surely
,
to
minister
to
the
weak
and
sick
—
was
so
happy
,
and
so
busy
,
and
stopped
so
often
in
her
preparations
to
lay
her
head
upon
my
bosom
,
and
fondle
me
,
and
cry
with
joyful
tears
she
was
so
glad
,
she
was
so
glad
,
that
I
was
obliged
to
say
,
"
Charley
,
if
you
go
on
in
this
way
,
I
must
lie
down
again
,
my
darling
,
for
I
am
weaker
than
I
thought
I
was
!
"
So
Charley
became
as
quiet
as
a
mouse
and
took
her
bright
face
here
and
there
across
and
across
the
two
rooms
,
out
of
the
shade
into
the
divine
sunshine
,
and
out
of
the
sunshine
into
the
shade
,
while
I
watched
her
peacefully
.
When
all
her
preparations
were
concluded
and
the
pretty
tea
-
table
with
its
little
delicacies
to
tempt
me
,
and
its
white
cloth
,
and
its
flowers
,
and
everything
so
lovingly
and
beautifully
arranged
for
me
by
Ada
downstairs
,
was
ready
at
the
bedside
,
I
felt
sure
I
was
steady
enough
to
say
something
to
Charley
that
was
not
new
to
my
thoughts
.
First
I
complimented
Charley
on
the
room
,
and
indeed
it
was
so
fresh
and
airy
,
so
spotless
and
neat
,
that
I
could
scarce
believe
I
had
been
lying
there
so
long
.
This
delighted
Charley
,
and
her
face
was
brighter
than
before
.
"
Yet
,
Charley
,
"
said
I
,
looking
round
,
"
I
miss
something
,
surely
,
that
I
am
accustomed
to
?
"
Poor
little
Charley
looked
round
too
and
pretended
to
shake
her
head
as
if
there
were
nothing
absent
.
"
Are
the
pictures
all
as
they
used
to
be
?
"
I
asked
her
.
"
Every
one
of
them
,
miss
,
"
said
Charley
.
"
And
the
furniture
,
Charley
?
"
"
Except
where
I
have
moved
it
about
to
make
more
room
,
miss
.
"
"
And
yet
,
"
said
I
,
"
I
miss
some
familiar
object
.
Ah
,
I
know
what
it
is
,
Charley
!
It
’
s
the
looking
-
glass
.
"
Charley
got
up
from
the
table
,
making
as
if
she
had
forgotten
something
,
and
went
into
the
next
room
;
and
I
heard
her
sob
there
.
I
had
thought
of
this
very
often
.
I
was
now
certain
of
it
.
I
could
thank
God
that
it
was
not
a
shock
to
me
now
.
I
called
Charley
back
,
and
when
she
came
—
at
first
pretending
to
smile
,
but
as
she
drew
nearer
to
me
,
looking
grieved
—
I
took
her
in
my
arms
and
said
,
"
It
matters
very
little
,
Charley
.
I
hope
I
can
do
without
my
old
face
very
well
.
"
I
was
presently
so
far
advanced
as
to
be
able
to
sit
up
in
a
great
chair
and
even
giddily
to
walk
into
the
adjoining
room
,
leaning
on
Charley
.
The
mirror
was
gone
from
its
usual
place
in
that
room
too
,
but
what
I
had
to
bear
was
none
the
harder
to
bear
for
that
.
My
guardian
had
throughout
been
earnest
to
visit
me
,
and
there
was
now
no
good
reason
why
I
should
deny
myself
that
happiness
.
He
came
one
morning
,
and
when
he
first
came
in
,
could
only
hold
me
in
his
embrace
and
say
,
"
My
dear
,
dear
girl
!
"
I
had
long
known
—
who
could
know
better
?
—
what
a
deep
fountain
of
affection
and
generosity
his
heart
was
;
and
was
it
not
worth
my
trivial
suffering
and
change
to
fill
such
a
place
in
it
?
"
Oh
,
yes
!
"
I
thought
.
"
He
has
seen
me
,
and
he
loves
me
better
than
he
did
;
he
has
seen
me
and
is
even
fonder
of
me
than
he
was
before
;
and
what
have
I
to
mourn
for
!
"
He
sat
down
by
me
on
the
sofa
,
supporting
me
with
his
arm
.
For
a
little
while
he
sat
with
his
hand
over
his
face
,
but
when
he
removed
it
,
fell
into
his
usual
manner
.
There
never
can
have
been
,
there
never
can
be
,
a
pleasanter
manner
.
"
My
little
woman
,
"
said
he
,
"
what
a
sad
time
this
has
been
.
Such
an
inflexible
little
woman
,
too
,
through
all
!
"
"
Only
for
the
best
,
guardian
,
"
said
I
.
"
For
the
best
?
"
he
repeated
tenderly
.
"
Of
course
,
for
the
best
.
But
here
have
Ada
and
I
been
perfectly
forlorn
and
miserable
;
here
has
your
friend
Caddy
been
coming
and
going
late
and
early
;
here
has
every
one
about
the
house
been
utterly
lost
and
dejected
;
here
has
even
poor
Rick
been
writing
—
to
ME
too
—
in
his
anxiety
for
you
!
"
I
had
read
of
Caddy
in
Ada
’
s
letters
,
but
not
of
Richard
.
I
told
him
so
.
"
Why
,
no
,
my
dear
,
"
he
replied
.
"
I
have
thought
it
better
not
to
mention
it
to
her
.
"
"
And
you
speak
of
his
writing
to
YOU
,
"
said
I
,
repeating
his
emphasis
.
"
As
if
it
were
not
natural
for
him
to
do
so
,
guardian
;
as
if
he
could
write
to
a
better
friend
!
"
"
He
thinks
he
could
,
my
love
,
"
returned
my
guardian
,
"
and
to
many
a
better
.
The
truth
is
,
he
wrote
to
me
under
a
sort
of
protest
while
unable
to
write
to
you
with
any
hope
of
an
answer
—
wrote
coldly
,
haughtily
,
distantly
,
resentfully
.
Well
,
dearest
little
woman
,
we
must
look
forbearingly
on
it
.
He
is
not
to
blame
.
Jarndyce
and
Jarndyce
has
warped
him
out
of
himself
and
perverted
me
in
his
eyes
.
I
have
known
it
do
as
bad
deeds
,
and
worse
,
many
a
time
.
If
two
angels
could
be
concerned
in
it
,
I
believe
it
would
change
their
nature
.
"
"
It
has
not
changed
yours
,
guardian
.
"
"
Oh
,
yes
,
it
has
,
my
dear
,
"
he
said
laughingly
.
"
It
has
made
the
south
wind
easterly
,
I
don
’
t
know
how
often
.
Rick
mistrusts
and
suspects
me
—
goes
to
lawyers
,
and
is
taught
to
mistrust
and
suspect
me
.
Hears
I
have
conflicting
interests
,
claims
clashing
against
his
and
what
not
.
Whereas
,
heaven
knows
that
if
I
could
get
out
of
the
mountains
of
wiglomeration
on
which
my
unfortunate
name
has
been
so
long
bestowed
(
which
I
can
’
t
)
or
could
level
them
by
the
extinction
of
my
own
original
right
(
which
I
can
’
t
either
,
and
no
human
power
ever
can
,
anyhow
,
I
believe
,
to
such
a
pass
have
we
got
)
,
I
would
do
it
this
hour
.
I
would
rather
restore
to
poor
Rick
his
proper
nature
than
be
endowed
with
all
the
money
that
dead
suitors
,
broken
,
heart
and
soul
,
upon
the
wheel
of
Chancery
,
have
left
unclaimed
with
the
Accountant
-
General
—
and
that
’
s
money
enough
,
my
dear
,
to
be
cast
into
a
pyramid
,
in
memory
of
Chancery
’
s
transcendent
wickedness
.
"
"
IS
it
possible
,
guardian
,
"
I
asked
,
amazed
,
"
that
Richard
can
be
suspicious
of
you
?
"
"
Ah
,
my
love
,
my
love
,
"
he
said
,
"
it
is
in
the
subtle
poison
of
such
abuses
to
breed
such
diseases
.
His
blood
is
infected
,
and
objects
lose
their
natural
aspects
in
his
sight
.
It
is
not
HIS
fault
.
"
"
But
it
is
a
terrible
misfortune
,
guardian
.
"
"
It
is
a
terrible
misfortune
,
little
woman
,
to
be
ever
drawn
within
the
influences
of
Jarndyce
and
Jarndyce
.
I
know
none
greater
.
By
little
and
little
he
has
been
induced
to
trust
in
that
rotten
reed
,
and
it
communicates
some
portion
of
its
rottenness
to
everything
around
him
.
But
again
I
say
with
all
my
soul
,
we
must
be
patient
with
poor
Rick
and
not
blame
him
.
What
a
troop
of
fine
fresh
hearts
like
his
have
I
seen
in
my
time
turned
by
the
same
means
!
"
I
could
not
help
expressing
something
of
my
wonder
and
regret
that
his
benevolent
,
disinterested
intentions
had
prospered
so
little
.
"
We
must
not
say
so
,
Dame
Durden
,
"
he
cheerfully
replied
;
"
Ada
is
the
happier
,
I
hope
,
and
that
is
much
.
I
did
think
that
I
and
both
these
young
creatures
might
be
friends
instead
of
distrustful
foes
and
that
we
might
so
far
counter
-
act
the
suit
and
prove
too
strong
for
it
.
But
it
was
too
much
to
expect
.
Jarndyce
and
Jarndyce
was
the
curtain
of
Rick
’
s
cradle
.
"
"
But
,
guardian
,
may
we
not
hope
that
a
little
experience
will
teach
him
what
a
false
and
wretched
thing
it
is
?
"
"
We
WILL
hope
so
,
my
Esther
,
"
said
Mr
.
Jarndyce
,
"
and
that
it
may
not
teach
him
so
too
late
.
In
any
case
we
must
not
be
hard
on
him
.
There
are
not
many
grown
and
matured
men
living
while
we
speak
,
good
men
too
,
who
if
they
were
thrown
into
this
same
court
as
suitors
would
not
be
vitally
changed
and
depreciated
within
three
years
—
within
two
—
within
one
.
How
can
we
stand
amazed
at
poor
Rick
?
A
young
man
so
unfortunate
,
"
here
he
fell
into
a
lower
tone
,
as
if
he
were
thinking
aloud
,
"
cannot
at
first
believe
(
who
could
?
)
that
Chancery
is
what
it
is
.
He
looks
to
it
,
flushed
and
fitfully
,
to
do
something
with
his
interests
and
bring
them
to
some
settlement
.
It
procrastinates
,
disappoints
,
tries
,
tortures
him
;
wears
out
his
sanguine
hopes
and
patience
,
thread
by
thread
;
but
he
still
looks
to
it
,
and
hankers
after
it
,
and
finds
his
whole
world
treacherous
and
hollow
.
Well
,
well
,
well
!
Enough
of
this
,
my
dear
!
"
He
had
supported
me
,
as
at
first
,
all
this
time
,
and
his
tenderness
was
so
precious
to
me
that
I
leaned
my
head
upon
his
shoulder
and
loved
him
as
if
he
had
been
my
father
.
I
resolved
in
my
own
mind
in
this
little
pause
,
by
some
means
,
to
see
Richard
when
I
grew
strong
and
try
to
set
him
right
.
"
There
are
better
subjects
than
these
,
"
said
my
guardian
,
"
for
such
a
joyful
time
as
the
time
of
our
dear
girl
’
s
recovery
.
And
I
had
a
commission
to
broach
one
of
them
as
soon
as
I
should
begin
to
talk
.
When
shall
Ada
come
to
see
you
,
my
love
?
"
I
had
been
thinking
of
that
too
.
A
little
in
connexion
with
the
absent
mirrors
,
but
not
much
,
for
I
knew
my
loving
girl
would
be
changed
by
no
change
in
my
looks
.
"
Dear
guardian
,
"
said
I
,
"
as
I
have
shut
her
out
so
long
—
though
indeed
,
indeed
,
she
is
like
the
light
to
me
—
"
"
I
know
it
well
,
Dame
Durden
,
well
.
"
He
was
so
good
,
his
touch
expressed
such
endearing
compassion
and
affection
,
and
the
tone
of
his
voice
carried
such
comfort
into
my
heart
that
I
stopped
for
a
little
while
,
quite
unable
to
go
on
.
"
Yes
,
yes
,
you
are
tired
,
"
said
he
.
"
Rest
a
little
.
"
"
As
I
have
kept
Ada
out
so
long
,
"
I
began
afresh
after
a
short
while
,
"
I
think
I
should
like
to
have
my
own
way
a
little
longer
,
guardian
.
It
would
be
best
to
be
away
from
here
before
I
see
her
.
If
Charley
and
I
were
to
go
to
some
country
lodging
as
soon
as
I
can
move
,
and
if
I
had
a
week
there
in
which
to
grow
stronger
and
to
be
revived
by
the
sweet
air
and
to
look
forward
to
the
happiness
of
having
Ada
with
me
again
,
I
think
it
would
be
better
for
us
.
"
I
hope
it
was
not
a
poor
thing
in
me
to
wish
to
be
a
little
more
used
to
my
altered
self
before
I
met
the
eyes
of
the
dear
girl
I
longed
so
ardently
to
see
,
but
it
is
the
truth
.
I
did
.
He
understood
me
,
I
was
sure
;
but
I
was
not
afraid
of
that
.
If
it
were
a
poor
thing
,
I
knew
he
would
pass
it
over
.
"
Our
spoilt
little
woman
,
"
said
my
guardian
,
"
shall
have
her
own
way
even
in
her
inflexibility
,
though
at
the
price
,
I
know
,
of
tears
downstairs
.
And
see
here
!
Here
is
Boythorn
,
heart
of
chivalry
,
breathing
such
ferocious
vows
as
never
were
breathed
on
paper
before
,
that
if
you
don
’
t
go
and
occupy
his
whole
house
,
he
having
already
turned
out
of
it
expressly
for
that
purpose
,
by
heaven
and
by
earth
he
’
ll
pull
it
down
and
not
leave
one
brick
standing
on
another
!
"
And
my
guardian
put
a
letter
in
my
hand
,
without
any
ordinary
beginning
such
as
"
My
dear
Jarndyce
,
"
but
rushing
at
once
into
the
words
,
"
I
swear
if
Miss
Summerson
do
not
come
down
and
take
possession
of
my
house
,
which
I
vacate
for
her
this
day
at
one
o
’
clock
,
P
.
M
.
,
"
and
then
with
the
utmost
seriousness
,
and
in
the
most
emphatic
terms
,
going
on
to
make
the
extraordinary
declaration
he
had
quoted
.
We
did
not
appreciate
the
writer
the
less
for
laughing
heartily
over
it
,
and
we
settled
that
I
should
send
him
a
letter
of
thanks
on
the
morrow
and
accept
his
offer
.
It
was
a
most
agreeable
one
to
me
,
for
all
the
places
I
could
have
thought
of
,
I
should
have
liked
to
go
to
none
so
well
as
Chesney
Wold
.
"
Now
,
little
housewife
,
"
said
my
guardian
,
looking
at
his
watch
,
"
I
was
strictly
timed
before
I
came
upstairs
,
for
you
must
not
be
tired
too
soon
;
and
my
time
has
waned
away
to
the
last
minute
.
I
have
one
other
petition
.
Little
Miss
Flite
,
hearing
a
rumour
that
you
were
ill
,
made
nothing
of
walking
down
here
—
twenty
miles
,
poor
soul
,
in
a
pair
of
dancing
shoes
—
to
inquire
.
It
was
heaven
’
s
mercy
we
were
at
home
,
or
she
would
have
walked
back
again
.
"
The
old
conspiracy
to
make
me
happy
!
Everybody
seemed
to
be
in
it
!
"
Now
,
pet
,
"
said
my
guardian
,
"
if
it
would
not
be
irksome
to
you
to
admit
the
harmless
little
creature
one
afternoon
before
you
save
Boythorn
’
s
otherwise
devoted
house
from
demolition
,
I
believe
you
would
make
her
prouder
and
better
pleased
with
herself
than
I
—
though
my
eminent
name
is
Jarndyce
—
could
do
in
a
lifetime
.
"
I
have
no
doubt
he
knew
there
would
be
something
in
the
simple
image
of
the
poor
afflicted
creature
that
would
fall
like
a
gentle
lesson
on
my
mind
at
that
time
.
I
felt
it
as
he
spoke
to
me
.
I
could
not
tell
him
heartily
enough
how
ready
I
was
to
receive
her
.
I
had
always
pitied
her
,
never
so
much
as
now
.
I
had
always
been
glad
of
my
little
power
to
soothe
her
under
her
calamity
,
but
never
,
never
,
half
so
glad
before
.
