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"
I
mean
,
I
am
getting
the
hell
out
of
here
!
"
"
O
.
K
.
,
but
listen
to
this
:
if
you
walk
out
the
door
now
you
won
’
t
see
me
again
!
"
"
Fair
enough
,
"
I
said
.
I
stood
up
,
walked
to
the
door
,
opened
it
,
closed
it
and
walked
down
to
the
Volks
.
I
started
the
engine
and
drove
off
.
I
had
made
some
room
for
Mindy
.
I
sat
in
the
airport
and
waited
.
You
never
knew
about
photos
.
You
could
never
tell
.
I
was
nervous
.
I
felt
like
vomiting
.
I
lit
a
cigarette
and
gagged
.
Why
did
I
do
these
things
?
I
didn
’
t
want
her
now
.
And
Mindy
was
flying
all
the
way
from
New
York
City
.
I
knew
plenty
of
women
.
Why
always
more
women
?
What
was
I
trying
to
do
?
New
affairs
were
exciting
but
they
were
also
hard
work
.
The
first
kiss
,
the
first
fuck
had
some
drama
.
People
were
interesting
at
first
.
Then
later
,
slowly
but
surely
,
all
the
flaws
and
madness
would
manifest
themselves
.
I
would
become
less
and
less
to
them
;
they
would
mean
less
and
less
to
me
.
I
was
old
and
I
was
ugly
.
Maybe
that
’
s
why
it
felt
so
good
to
stick
it
into
young
girls
.
I
was
King
Kong
and
they
were
lithe
and
tender
.
Was
I
trying
to
screw
my
way
past
death
?
By
being
with
young
girls
did
I
hope
I
wouldn
’
t
grow
old
,
feel
old
?
I
just
didn
’
t
want
to
age
badly
,
simply
quit
,
be
dead
before
death
itself
arrived
.
Mindy
’
s
plane
landed
and
taxied
in
.
I
felt
I
was
in
danger
.
Women
knew
me
beforehand
because
they
had
read
my
books
.
I
had
exposed
myself
.
On
the
other
hand
,
I
knew
nothing
of
them
.
I
was
the
real
gambler
.
I
could
get
killed
,
I
could
get
my
balls
cut
off
.
Chinaski
without
balls
.
Love
Poems
of
a
Eunuch
.
I
stood
waiting
for
Mindy
.
The
passengers
came
out
of
the
gate
.
Oh
,
I
hope
she
’
s
not
the
one
.
Or
her
.
