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I
am
innocent
in
my
fashion
,
Lydia
,
I
thought
.
I
am
faithful
to
thee
in
my
fashion
.
No
oral
sex
.
My
stomach
was
too
upset
.
I
mounted
the
famous
doctor
’
s
ex
-
wife
.
The
cultured
world
traveler
.
She
had
the
Bronte
sisters
in
her
bookcase
.
We
both
liked
Carson
McCullers
.
The
Heart
Is
a
Lonely
Hunter
.
I
gave
her
3
or
4
particularly
mean
rips
and
she
gasped
.
Now
she
knew
a
writer
firsthand
.
Not
a
very
well
-
known
writer
,
of
course
,
but
I
managed
to
pay
the
rent
and
that
was
astonishing
.
One
day
she
’
d
be
in
one
of
my
books
.
I
was
fucking
a
culture
-
bitch
.
I
felt
myself
nearing
a
climax
.
I
pushed
my
tongue
into
her
mouth
,
kissed
her
,
and
climaxed
.
I
rolled
off
feeling
foolish
.
I
held
her
a
while
,
then
she
went
into
the
bathroom
.
She
would
have
been
a
better
fuck
in
Greece
,
maybe
.
America
was
a
shitty
place
to
fuck
.
After
that
I
visited
Nicole
2
or
3
times
a
week
in
the
mid
-
afternoons
.
We
drank
wine
,
talked
,
and
now
and
then
made
love
.
I
found
I
wasn
’
t
particularly
interested
in
her
,
it
was
just
something
to
do
.
Lydia
and
I
had
made
up
the
next
day
.
She
would
question
me
about
where
I
went
in
the
afternoon
.
"
I
’
ve
been
to
the
supermarket
,
"
I
’
d
tell
her
,
and
it
was
true
.
I
’
d
go
to
the
supermarket
first
.
"
I
’
ve
never
seen
you
spend
so
much
time
at
the
supermarket
.
"
I
got
drunk
one
night
and
mentioned
to
Lydia
that
I
knew
a
certain
Nicole
.
I
told
her
where
Nicole
lived
,
but
that
"
not
much
was
going
on
.
"
Why
I
told
her
this
was
not
quite
clear
to
me
,
but
when
one
drinks
one
sometimes
thinks
unclearly
.
.
.
One
afternoon
I
was
coming
from
the
liquor
store
and
had
just
reached
Nicole
’
s
.
I
was
carrying
two
6
-
packs
of
bottled
beer
and
a
pint
of
whiskey
.
Lydia
and
I
had
recently
had
another
fight
and
I
had
decided
to
stay
the
night
with
Nicole
.
I
was
walking
along
,
already
a
bit
intoxicated
,
when
I
heard
someone
run
up
behind
me
.
I
turned
.
It
was
Lydia
.
"
Ha
!
"
she
said
.
"
Ha
!
"
She
grabbed
the
bag
of
liquor
out
of
my
hand
and
began
pulling
out
the
beer
bottles
.
She
smashed
them
on
the
pavement
one
by
one
.
They
made
large
explosions
.
Santa
Monica
Boulevard
is
very
busy
.
The
afternoon
traffic
was
just
beginning
to
build
up
.
All
this
action
was
taking
place
just
outside
Nicole
’
s
door
.
Then
Lydia
reached
the
pint
of
whiskey
.
She
held
it
up
and
screamed
up
at
me
,
"
Ha
!
You
were
going
to
drink
this
and
then
you
were
going
to
FUCK
her
!
"
She
smashed
the
pint
on
the
cement
.
Nicole
’
s
door
was
open
and
Lydia
ran
up
the
stairway
.
Nicole
was
standing
at
the
top
of
the
stairs
.
Lydia
began
hitting
Nicole
with
her
large
purse
.
It
had
long
straps
and
she
swung
it
as
hard
as
she
could
.
"
He
’
s
my
man
!
He
’
s
my
man
!
You
stay
away
from
my
man
!
"
Then
Lydia
ran
down
past
me
,
out
the
door
and
into
the
street
.
"
Good
god
,
"
said
Nicole
,
"
who
was
that
?
"
