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"
This
notice
is
sent
to
you
in
accordance
with
the
requirements
of
the
National
Motor
Vehicle
Safety
Act
.
We
have
determined
that
a
defect
exists
...
"
This
week
I
ran
the
liability
formula
,
and
for
once
A
times
B
times
C
equaled
more
than
the
cost
of
a
recall
.
This
week
,
it
's
the
little
plastic
clip
that
holds
the
rubber
blade
on
your
windshield
wipers
.
A
throwaway
item
.
Only
two
hundred
vehicles
affected
.
Next
to
nothing
for
the
labor
cost
.
Last
week
was
more
typical
.
Last
week
the
issue
was
some
leather
cured
with
a
known
teratogenic
substance
,
synthetic
Nirret
or
something
just
as
illegal
that
's
still
used
in
third
world
tanning
.
Something
so
strong
that
it
could
cause
birth
defects
in
the
fetus
of
any
pregnant
woman
who
comes
across
it
.
Last
week
,
nobody
called
the
Department
of
Transportation
.
Nobody
initiated
a
recall
.
New
leather
multiplied
by
labor
cost
multiplied
by
administration
cost
would
equal
more
than
our
first-quarter
profits
.
If
anyone
ever
discovers
our
mistake
,
we
can
still
pay
off
a
lot
of
grieving
families
before
we
come
close
to
the
cost
of
retrofitting
sixty-five
hundred
leather
interiors
.
But
this
week
,
we
're
doing
a
recall
campaign
.
And
this
week
the
insomnia
is
back
.
Insomnia
,
and
now
the
whole
world
figures
to
stop
by
and
take
a
dump
on
my
grave
.
My
boss
is
wearing
his
gray
tie
so
today
must
be
a
Tuesday
.
My
boss
brings
a
sheet
of
paper
to
my
desk
and
asks
if
I
'm
looking
for
something
.
This
paper
was
left
in
the
copy
machine
,
he
says
,
and
begins
to
read
:
"
The
first
rule
of
fight
club
is
you
do
n't
talk
about
fight
club
.
"
