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This
was
a
tough
one
for
you
,
you
'd
have
to
open
your
eyes
and
see
the
picture
of
Mom
and
Dad
smiling
and
see
the
gun
at
the
same
time
,
but
you
did
,
and
then
your
eyes
closed
and
you
started
to
cry
.
You
were
going
to
cool
,
the
amazing
miracle
of
death
.
One
minute
,
you
're
a
person
,
the
next
minute
,
you
're
an
object
,
and
Mom
and
Dad
would
have
to
call
old
doctor
whoever
and
get
your
dental
records
because
there
would
n't
be
much
left
of
your
face
,
and
Mom
and
Dad
,
they
'd
always
expected
so
much
more
from
you
and
,
no
,
life
was
n't
fair
,
and
now
it
was
come
to
this
.
Fourteen
dollars
.
This
,
I
said
,
is
this
your
mom
?
Yeah
.
You
were
crying
,
sniffing
,
crying
.
You
swallowed
.
Yeah
.
You
had
a
library
card
.
You
had
a
video
movie
rental
card
.
A
social
security
card
.
Fourteen
dollars
cash
.
I
wanted
to
take
the
bus
pass
,
but
the
mechanic
said
to
only
take
the
driver
's
license
.
An
expired
community
college
student
card
.
You
used
to
study
something
.
You
'd
worked
up
a
pretty
intense
cry
at
this
point
so
I
pressed
the
gun
a
little
harder
against
your
cheek
,
and
you
started
to
step
back
until
I
said
,
do
n't
move
or
you
're
dead
right
here
.
Now
,
what
did
you
study
?
Where
?