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He
holds
undefined
emotions
about
non
-
conceivable
subjects
as
the
meaning
of
life
and
as
his
claim
to
virtue
.
And
he
cries
with
despair
,
because
he
can
feel
nothing
for
the
women
he
respects
,
but
finds
himself
in
bondage
to
an
irresistible
passion
for
a
slut
from
the
gutter
.
He
is
the
man
whom
people
call
an
idealist
.
The
other
kind
of
half
is
the
man
whom
people
call
practical
,
the
man
who
despises
principles
,
abstractions
,
art
,
philosophy
and
his
own
mind
.
He
regards
the
acquisition
of
material
objects
as
the
only
goal
of
existence
—
and
he
laughs
at
the
need
to
consider
their
purpose
or
their
source
.
He
expects
them
to
give
him
pleasure
—
and
he
wonders
why
the
more
he
gets
,
the
less
he
feels
.
He
is
the
man
who
spends
his
time
chasing
women
.
Observe
the
triple
fraud
which
he
perpetrates
upon
himself
.
He
will
not
acknowledge
his
need
of
self
-
esteem
,
since
he
scoffs
at
such
a
concept
as
moral
values
;
yet
he
feels
the
profound
self
-
contempt
which
comes
from
believing
that
he
is
a
piece
of
meat
.
He
will
not
acknowledge
,
but
he
knows
that
sex
is
the
physical
expression
of
a
tribute
to
personal
values
.
So
he
tries
,
by
going
through
the
motions
of
the
effect
,
to
acquire
that
which
should
have
been
the
cause
.
He
tries
to
gain
a
sense
of
his
own
value
from
the
women
who
surrender
to
him
—
and
he
forgets
that
the
women
he
picks
have
neither
character
nor
judgment
nor
standard
of
value
.
He
tells
himself
that
all
he
’
s
after
is
physical
pleasure
—
but
observe
that
he
tires
of
his
women
in
a
week
or
a
night
,
that
he
despises
professional
whores
and
that
he
loves
to
imagine
he
is
seducing
virtuous
girls
who
make
a
great
exception
for
his
sake
.
It
is
the
feeling
,
of
achievement
that
he
seeks
and
never
finds
.
What
glory
can
there
be
in
the
conquest
of
a
mindless
body
?
Now
that
is
your
woman
-
chaser
.
Does
the
description
fit
me
?
"
"
God
,
no
!
"
"
Then
you
can
judge
,
without
asking
my
word
for
it
,
how
much
chasing
of
women
I
’
ve
done
in
my
life
.
"
"
But
what
on
earth
have
you
been
doing
on
the
front
pages
of
newspapers
for
the
last
—
isn
’
t
it
twelve
—
years
?
"
"
I
’
ve
spent
a
lot
of
money
on
the
most
ostentatiously
vulgar
parties
I
could
think
of
,
and
a
miserable
amount
of
time
on
being
seen
with
the
appropriate
sort
of
women
.
As
for
the
rest
—
"
He
stopped
,
then
said
,
"
I
have
some
friends
who
know
this
,
but
you
are
the
first
person
to
whom
I
am
confiding
it
against
my
own
rules
:
I
have
never
slept
with
any
of
those
women
.
I
have
never
touched
one
of
them
.
"
"
What
is
more
incredible
than
that
,
is
that
I
believe
you
.
"
The
lamp
on
the
floor
beside
him
threw
broken
bits
of
light
across
Francisco
’
s
face
,
as
he
leaned
forward
;
the
face
had
a
look
of
guiltless
amusement
.
"
If
you
care
to
glance
over
those
front
pages
,
you
’
ll
see
that
I
’
ve
never
said
anything
.
It
was
the
women
who
were
eager
to
rush
into
print
with
stories
insinuating
that
being
seen
with
me
at
a
restaurant
was
the
sign
of
a
great
romance
.
What
do
you
suppose
those
women
are
after
but
the
same
thing
as
the
chaser
—
the
desire
to
gain
their
own
value
from
the
number
and
fame
of
the
men
they
conquer
?
Only
it
’
s
one
step
phonier
,
because
the
value
they
seek
is
not
even
in
the
actual
fact
,
but
in
the
impression
on
and
the
envy
of
other
women
.
Well
,
I
gave
those
bitches
what
they
wanted
—
but
what
they
literally
wanted
,
without
the
pretense
that
they
expected
,
the
pretense
that
hides
from
them
the
nature
of
their
wish
.
Do
you
think
they
wanted
to
sleep
with
me
or
with
any
man
?
They
wouldn
’
t
be
capable
of
so
real
and
honest
a
desire
.
They
wanted
food
for
their
vanity
—
and
I
gave
it
to
them
.
I
gave
them
the
chance
to
boast
to
their
friends
and
to
see
themselves
in
the
scandal
sheets
in
the
roles
of
great
seductresses
.
But
do
you
know
that
it
works
in
exactly
the
same
way
as
what
you
did
at
your
trial
?
If
you
want
to
defeat
any
kind
of
vicious
fraud
—
comply
with
it
literally
,
adding
nothing
of
your
own
to
disguise
its
nature
.
Those
women
understood
.
They
saw
whether
there
’
s
any
satisfaction
in
being
envied
by
others
for
a
feat
one
has
not
achieved
.
