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"
Yes
?
"
"
.
.
.
only
seeing
the
way
you
suffered
.
.
.
was
hard
to
see
.
"
"
I
don
’
t
think
that
suffering
makes
up
for
anything
,
but
whatever
I
felt
,
I
didn
’
t
suffer
enough
,
if
there
’
s
one
thing
I
loathe
,
it
’
s
to
speak
of
my
own
suffering
—
that
should
be
no
one
’
s
concern
but
mine
.
But
if
you
want
to
know
,
since
you
know
it
already
—
yes
,
it
was
hell
for
me
.
And
I
wish
it
were
worse
.
At
least
,
I
’
m
not
letting
myself
get
away
with
it
.
"
He
said
it
sternly
,
without
emotion
,
as
an
impersonal
verdict
upon
himself
.
She
smiled
,
in
amused
sadness
,
she
took
his
hand
and
pressed
it
to
her
lips
,
and
shook
her
head
in
rejection
of
the
verdict
,
holding
her
face
hidden
against
his
hand
.
"
What
do
you
mean
?
"
he
asked
softly
.
"
Nothing
.
.
.
"
Then
she
raised
her
head
and
said
firmly
,
"
Hank
,
I
knew
you
were
married
.
I
knew
what
I
was
doing
.
I
chose
to
do
it
.
There
’
s
nothing
that
you
owe
me
,
no
duty
that
you
have
to
consider
.
"
He
shook
his
head
slowly
,
in
protest
.
"
Hank
,
I
want
nothing
from
you
except
what
you
wish
to
give
me
.
Do
you
remember
that
you
called
me
a
trader
once
?
I
want
you
to
come
to
me
seeking
nothing
but
your
own
enjoyment
.
So
long
as
you
wish
to
remain
married
,
whatever
your
reason
,
I
have
no
right
to
resent
it
.
My
way
of
trading
is
to
know
that
the
joy
you
give
me
is
paid
for
by
the
joy
you
get
from
me
—
not
by
your
suffering
or
mine
.
I
don
’
t
accept
sacrifices
and
I
don
’
t
make
them
.
If
you
asked
me
for
more
than
you
meant
to
me
,
I
would
refuse
.
If
you
asked
me
to
give
up
the
railroad
,
I
’
d
leave
you
.
If
ever
the
pleasure
of
one
has
to
be
bought
by
the
pain
of
the
other
,
there
better
be
no
trade
at
all
.
A
trade
by
which
one
gains
and
the
other
loses
is
a
fraud
.
You
don
’
t
do
it
in
business
,
Hank
.
