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He
could
barely
find
time
to
skim
through
their
reports
from
Washington
and
to
sign
the
checks
which
Mouch
requested
for
the
battle
.
Rearden
did
not
believe
that
the
bill
would
pass
.
He
was
incapable
of
believing
it
.
Having
dealt
with
the
clean
reality
of
metals
,
technology
,
production
all
his
life
,
he
had
acquired
the
conviction
that
one
had
to
concern
oneself
with
the
rational
,
not
the
insane
—
that
one
had
to
seek
that
which
was
right
,
because
the
right
answer
always
won
—
that
the
senseless
,
the
wrong
,
the
monstrously
unjust
could
not
work
,
could
not
succeed
,
could
do
nothing
but
defeat
itself
.
A
battle
against
a
thing
such
as
that
bill
seemed
preposterous
and
faintly
embarrassing
to
him
,
as
if
he
were
suddenly
asked
to
compete
with
a
man
who
calculated
steel
mixtures
by
the
formulas
of
numerology
.
He
had
told
himself
that
the
issue
was
dangerous
.
But
the
loudest
screaming
of
the
most
hysterical
editorial
roused
no
emotion
in
him
—
while
a
variation
of
a
decimal
point
in
a
laboratory
report
on
a
test
of
Rearden
Metal
made
him
leap
to
his
feet
in
eagerness
or
apprehension
.
He
had
no
energy
to
spare
for
anything
else
.
He
crumpled
the
editorial
and
threw
it
into
the
wastebasket
.
He
felt
the
leaden
approach
of
that
exhaustion
which
he
never
felt
at
his
job
,
the
exhaustion
that
seemed
to
wait
for
him
and
catch
him
the
moment
he
turned
to
other
concerns
.
He
felt
as
if
he
were
incapable
of
any
desire
except
a
desperate
longing
for
sleep
.
He
told
himself
that
he
had
to
attend
the
party
—
that
his
family
had
the
right
to
demand
it
of
him
—
that
he
had
to
learn
to
like
their
kind
of
pleasure
,
for
their
sake
,
not
his
own
.
He
wondered
why
this
was
a
motive
that
had
no
power
to
impel
him
.
Throughout
his
life
,
whenever
he
became
convinced
that
a
course
of
action
was
right
,
the
desire
to
follow
it
had
come
automatically
.
What
was
happening
to
him
?
—
he
wondered
.
The
impossible
conflict
of
feeling
reluctance
to
do
that
which
was
right
—
wasn
’
t
it
the
basic
formula
of
moral
corruption
?
To
recognize
one
’
s
guilt
,
yet
feel
nothing
but
the
coldest
,
most
profound
indifference
—
wasn
’
t
it
a
betrayal
of
that
which
had
been
the
motor
of
his
life
-
course
and
of
his
pride
?
He
gave
himself
no
time
to
seek
an
answer
.
He
finished
dressing
,
quickly
,
pitilessly
.
Holding
himself
erect
,
his
tall
figure
moving
with
the
unstressed
,
unhurried
confidence
of
habitual
authority
,
the
white
of
a
fine
handkerchief
in
the
breast
pocket
of
his
black
dinner
jacket
,
he
walked
slowly
down
the
stairs
to
the
drawing
room
,
looking
—
to
the
satisfaction
of
the
dowagers
who
watched
him
—
like
the
perfect
figure
of
a
great
industrialist
.
He
saw
Lillian
at
the
foot
of
the
stairs
.
The
patrician
lines
of
a
lemon
-
yellow
Empire
evening
gown
stressed
her
graceful
body
,
and
she
stood
like
a
person
proudly
in
control
of
her
proper
background
.
He
smiled
;
he
liked
to
see
her
happy
;
it
gave
some
reasonable
justification
to
the
party
.
He
approached
her
—
and
stopped
.
She
had
always
shown
good
taste
in
her
use
of
jewelry
,
never
wearing
too
much
of
it
.
