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Her
fingers
half
-
closed
limply
about
the
glass
,
and
she
drank
,
spilling
the
liquor
down
her
chin
,
her
breast
and
her
gown
.
"
Oh
hell
,
Lillian
,
you
re
a
mess
!
"
he
said
and
,
not
troubling
to
reach
for
his
handkerchief
,
he
stretched
out
his
hand
to
wipe
the
liquor
with
the
flat
of
his
palm
.
His
fingers
slipped
under
the
gown
s
neckline
,
closing
over
her
breast
,
his
breath
catching
in
a
sudden
gulp
,
like
a
hiccough
.
His
eyelids
were
drawing
closed
,
but
he
caught
a
glimpse
of
her
face
leaning
back
unresistingly
,
her
mouth
swollen
with
revulsion
.
When
he
reached
for
her
mouth
,
her
arms
embraced
him
obediently
and
her
mouth
responded
,
but
the
response
was
just
a
pressure
,
not
a
kiss
.
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He
raised
his
head
to
glance
at
her
face
.
Her
teeth
were
bared
in
a
smile
,
but
she
was
staring
past
him
,
as
if
mocking
some
invisible
presence
,
her
smile
lifeless
,
yet
loud
with
malice
,
like
the
grin
of
a
fleshless
skull
.
He
jerked
her
closer
,
to
stifle
the
sight
and
his
own
shudder
.
His
hands
were
going
through
the
automatic
motions
of
intimacy
and
she
complied
,
but
in
a
manner
that
made
him
feel
as
if
the
beats
of
her
arteries
under
his
touch
were
snickering
giggles
.
They
were
both
performing
an
expected
routine
,
a
routine
invented
by
someone
and
imposed
upon
them
,
performing
it
in
mockery
,
in
hatred
,
in
defiling
parody
on
its
inventors
.
He
felt
a
sightless
,
heedless
fury
,
part
-
horror
,
part
-
pleasure
the
horror
of
committing
an
act
he
would
never
dare
confess
to
anyone
the
pleasure
of
committing
it
in
blasphemous
defiance
of
those
to
whom
he
would
not
dare
confess
it
.
He
was
himself
!
the
only
conscious
part
of
his
rage
seemed
to
be
screaming
to
him
he
was
,
at
last
,
himself
!
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They
did
not
speak
.
They
knew
each
other
s
motive
.
Only
two
words
were
pronounced
between
them
.
"
Mrs
.
Rearden
,
"
he
said
.
They
did
not
look
at
each
other
when
he
pushed
her
into
his
bedroom
and
onto
his
bed
,
falling
against
her
body
,
as
against
a
soft
stuffed
object
.
Their
faces
had
a
look
of
secrecy
,
the
look
of
partners
in
guilt
,
the
furtive
,
smutty
look
of
children
defiling
someone
s
clean
fence
by
chalking
sneaky
scratches
intended
as
symbols
of
obscenity
.
Afterward
,
it
did
not
disappoint
him
that
what
he
had
possessed
was
an
inanimate
body
without
resistance
or
response
.
It
was
not
a
woman
that
he
had
wanted
to
possess
.
It
was
not
an
act
in
celebration
of
life
that
he
had
wanted
to
perform
but
an
act
in
celebration
of
the
triumph
of
impotence
.