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"
I
accepted
their
insults
,
their
frauds
,
their
extortions
.
I
thought
I
could
afford
to
ignore
them
—
all
those
impotent
mystics
who
prattle
about
their
souls
and
are
unable
to
build
a
roof
over
their
heads
.
I
thought
that
the
world
was
mine
,
and
that
those
jabbering
incompetents
were
no
threat
to
my
strength
.
I
could
not
understand
why
I
kept
losing
every
battle
.
I
did
not
know
that
the
force
unleashed
against
me
was
my
own
.
While
I
was
busy
conquering
matter
,
I
had
surrendered
to
them
the
realm
of
the
mind
,
of
thought
,
of
principle
,
of
law
,
of
values
,
of
morality
.
I
had
accepted
,
unwittingly
and
by
default
,
the
tenet
that
ideas
were
of
no
consequence
to
one
’
s
existence
,
to
one
’
s
work
,
to
reality
,
to
this
earth
—
as
if
ideas
were
not
the
province
of
reason
,
but
of
that
mystic
faith
which
I
despised
.
This
was
all
they
wanted
me
to
concede
.
It
was
enough
.
I
had
surrendered
that
which
all
of
their
claptrap
is
designed
to
subvert
and
to
destroy
:
man
’
s
reason
.
No
,
they
were
not
able
to
deal
with
matter
,
to
produce
abundance
,
to
control
this
earth
.
They
did
not
have
to
.
They
controlled
me
.
"
I
,
who
knew
that
wealth
is
only
a
means
to
an
end
,
created
the
means
and
let
them
prescribe
my
ends
.
I
,
who
took
pride
in
my
ability
to
achieve
the
satisfaction
of
my
desires
,
let
them
prescribe
the
code
of
values
by
which
I
judged
my
desires
.
I
,
who
shaped
matter
to
serve
my
purpose
,
was
left
with
a
pile
of
steel
and
gold
,
but
with
my
every
purpose
defeated
,
my
every
desire
betrayed
,
my
every
attempt
at
happiness
frustrated
.
"
I
had
cut
myself
in
two
,
as
the
mystics
preached
,
and
I
ran
my
business
by
one
code
of
rules
,
but
my
own
life
by
another
.
I
rebelled
against
the
looters
’
attempt
to
set
the
price
and
value
of
my
steel
—
but
I
let
them
set
the
moral
values
of
my
life
.
I
rebelled
against
demands
for
an
unearned
wealth
—
but
I
thought
it
was
my
duty
to
grant
an
unearned
love
to
a
wife
I
despised
,
an
unearned
respect
to
a
mother
who
hated
me
,
an
unearned
support
to
a
brother
who
plotted
for
my
destruction
.
I
rebelled
against
undeserved
financial
injury
—
but
I
accepted
a
life
of
undeserved
pain
.
I
rebelled
against
the
doctrine
that
my
productive
ability
was
guilt
—
but
I
accepted
,
as
guilt
,
my
capacity
for
happiness
.
I
rebelled
against
the
creed
that
virtue
is
some
disembodied
unknowable
of
the
spirit
—
but
I
damned
you
,
you
,
my
dearest
one
,
for
the
desire
of
your
body
and
mine
.
But
if
the
body
is
evil
;
then
so
are
those
who
provide
the
means
of
its
survival
,
so
is
material
wealth
and
those
who
produce
it
—
and
if
moral
values
are
set
in
contradiction
to
our
physical
existence
,
then
it
’
s
right
that
rewards
should
be
unearned
,
that
virtue
should
consist
of
the
undone
,
that
there
should
be
no
tie
between
achievement
and
profit
,
that
the
inferior
animals
who
’
re
able
to
produce
should
serve
those
superior
beings
whose
superiority
in
spirit
consists
of
incompetence
in
the
flesh
.
"
If
some
man
like
Hugh
Akston
had
told
me
,
when
I
started
,
that
by
accepting
the
mystics
’
theory
of
sex
I
was
accepting
the
looters
’
theory
of
economics
,
I
would
have
laughed
in
his
face
.
I
would
not
laugh
at
him
now
.
Now
I
see
Rearden
Steel
being
ruled
by
human
scum
—
I
see
the
achievement
of
my
life
serving
to
enrich
the
worst
of
my
enemies
—
and
as
to
the
only
two
persons
I
ever
loved
,
I
’
ve
brought
a
deadly
insult
to
one
and
public
disgrace
to
the
other
.
I
slapped
the
face
of
the
man
who
was
my
friend
,
my
defender
,
my
teacher
,
the
man
who
set
me
free
by
helping
me
to
learn
what
I
’
ve
learned
,
I
loved
him
,
Dagny
,
he
was
the
brother
,
the
son
,
the
comrade
I
never
had
—
but
I
knocked
him
out
of
my
life
,
because
he
would
not
help
me
to
produce
for
the
looters
.
I
’
d
give
anything
now
to
have
him
back
,
but
I
own
nothing
to
offer
in
such
repayment
,
and
I
’
ll
never
see
him
again
,
because
it
’
s
I
who
’
ll
know
that
there
is
no
way
to
deserve
even
the
right
to
ask
forgiveness
.
"
But
what
I
’
ve
done
to
you
,
my
dearest
,
is
still
worse
.
Your
speech
and
that
you
had
to
make
it
—
that
’
s
what
I
’
ve
brought
upon
the
only
woman
I
loved
,
in
payment
for
the
only
happiness
I
’
ve
known
.
Don
’
t
tell
me
that
it
was
your
choice
from
the
first
and
that
you
accepted
all
consequences
,
including
tonight
—
it
does
not
redeem
the
fact
that
it
was
I
who
had
no
better
choice
to
offer
you
.
And
that
the
looters
forced
you
to
speak
,
that
you
spoke
to
avenge
me
and
set
me
free
—
does
not
redeem
the
fact
that
it
was
I
who
made
their
tactics
possible
.
It
was
not
then
own
convictions
of
sin
and
dishonor
that
they
could
use
to
disgrace
you
—
it
was
mine
.
They
merely
carried
out
the
things
I
believed
and
said
in
Ellis
Wyatt
’
s
house
.
It
was
I
who
kept
our
love
bidden
as
a
guilty
secret
—
they
merely
treated
it
for
what
it
was
by
my
own
appraisal
.
It
was
I
who
was
willing
to
counterfeit
reality
for
the
sake
of
appearance
in
their
eyes
—
they
merely
cashed
in
on
the
right
I
had
given
them
.
"
People
think
that
a
liar
gains
a
victory
over
his
victim
.
What
I
’
ve
learned
is
that
a
lie
is
an
act
of
self
-
abdication
,
because
one
surrenders
one
’
s
reality
to
the
person
to
whom
one
lies
,
making
that
person
one
’
s
master
,
condemning
oneself
from
then
on
to
faking
the
sort
of
reality
that
person
’
s
view
requires
to
be
faked
.
And
if
one
gains
the
immediate
purpose
of
the
lie
—
the
price
one
pays
is
the
destruction
of
that
which
the
gain
was
intended
to
serve
.
The
man
who
lies
to
the
world
,
is
the
world
’
s
slave
from
then
on
.
When
I
chose
to
hide
my
love
for
you
,
to
disavow
it
in
public
and
live
it
as
a
lie
,
I
made
it
public
property
—
and
the
public
has
claimed
it
in
a
fitting
sort
of
manner
.
I
had
no
way
to
avert
it
and
no
power
to
save
you
.
When
I
gave
in
to
the
looters
,
when
I
signed
their
Gift
Certificate
,
to
protect
you
—
I
was
still
faking
reality
,
there
was
nothing
else
left
open
to
me
—
and
,
Dagny
,
I
’
d
rather
have
seen
us
both
dead
than
permit
them
to
do
what
they
threatened
.
But
there
are
no
white
lies
,
there
is
only
the
blackness
of
destruction
,
and
a
white
lie
is
the
blackest
of
all
.
I
was
still
faking
reality
,
and
it
had
the
inexorable
result
:
instead
of
protection
,
it
brought
you
a
more
terrible
kind
of
ordeal
,
instead
of
saving
your
name
,
it
forced
you
to
offer
yourself
for
a
public
stoning
and
to
throw
the
stones
by
your
own
hand
.
I
know
that
you
were
proud
of
the
things
you
said
,
and
I
was
proud
to
hear
you
—
but
that
was
the
pride
we
should
have
claimed
two
years
ago
.
