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She
wondered
which
anonymous
shadow
—
among
the
passengers
who
had
hurried
past
her
,
as
insubstantial
as
the
steam
of
the
engines
and
as
ignored
—
which
shadow
and
face
had
been
his
;
she
wondered
how
close
she
had
come
to
him
for
the
length
of
that
unknown
moment
.
"
Oh
,
why
didn
’
t
you
speak
to
me
,
then
or
later
?
"
"
Do
you
happen
to
remember
what
you
were
doing
in
the
Terminal
that
night
?
"
"
I
remember
vaguely
a
night
when
they
called
me
from
some
party
I
was
attending
.
My
father
was
out
of
town
and
the
new
Terminal
manager
had
made
some
sort
of
error
that
tied
up
all
traffic
in
the
tunnels
.
The
old
manager
had
quit
unexpectedly
the
week
before
.
"
"
It
was
I
who
made
him
quit
.
"
"
I
see
.
.
.
"
Her
voice
trailed
off
,
as
if
abandoning
sound
,
as
her
eyelids
dropped
,
abandoning
sight
.
If
he
had
not
withstood
it
then
—
she
thought
—
if
he
had
come
to
claim
her
,
then
or
later
,
what
sort
of
tragedy
would
they
have
had
to
reach
?
.
.
.
She
remembered
what
she
had
felt
when
she
had
cried
that
she
would
shoot
the
destroyer
on
sight
.
.
.
I
would
have
—
the
thought
was
not
in
words
,
she
knew
it
only
as
a
trembling
pressure
in
her
stomach
—
I
would
have
shot
him
,
afterward
,
if
I
discovered
his
role
.
.
.
and
I
would
have
had
to
discover
it
.
.
.
and
yet
—
she
shuddered
,
because
she
knew
she
still
wished
he
had
come
to
her
,
because
the
thought
not
to
be
admitted
into
her
mind
but
flowing
as
a
dark
warmth
through
her
body
,
was
:
I
would
have
shot
him
,
but
not
before
—
She
raised
her
eyelids
—
and
she
knew
that
that
thought
was
as
naked
to
him
in
her
eyes
,
as
it
was
to
her
in
his
.
She
saw
his
veiled
glance
and
the
tautness
of
his
mouth
,
she
saw
him
reduced
to
agony
,
she
felt
herself
drowned
by
the
exultant
wish
to
cause
him
pain
,
to
see
it
,
to
watch
it
,
to
watch
it
beyond
her
own
endurance
and
his
,
then
to
reduce
him
to
the
helplessness
of
pleasure
.
He
got
up
,
he
looked
away
,
and
she
could
not
tell
whether
it
was
the
slight
lift
of
his
head
or
the
tension
of
his
features
that
made
his
face
look
oddly
calm
and
clear
,
as
if
it
were
stripped
of
emotion
down
to
the
naked
purity
of
its
structure
.
"
Every
man
that
your
railroad
needed
and
lost
in
the
past
ten
years
,
"
he
said
,
"
it
was
I
who
made
you
lose
him
.
"
His
voice
had
the
single
toned
flatness
and
the
luminous
simplicity
of
an
accountant
who
reminds
a
reckless
purchaser
that
cost
is
an
absolute
which
cannot
be
escaped
,
"
I
have
pulled
every
girder
from
under
Taggart
Transcontinental
and
,
if
you
choose
to
go
back
,
I
will
see
it
collapse
upon
your
head
.
"
He
turned
to
leave
the
room
.
